confusion and blah...

ilovepwin's picture

wow! its been exactly a month since i last wrote and i know so many people have said this but i honestly didnt think i would go this long without writing especially seeing as i used to rite everyday if notmore often... lol...
a lot has happened...
yesterday i was nearly outed by my sister... and its still not definate that i havent been... but im really hoping i havent been... i was almost sick from crying so much yesterday... i was sitting in the corner of my room looking at the floor waiting for it to open up and swallow me... just to let me go... but it didnt...
i mean... dont get me wrong... im not ashamed of who i am or who i love... but i knwo my parents will be... and im not ready to lose them yet... you know...
my gf said she wouldnt let me go... that i would never lose her... i know she will always be there...
i dont even knwo waht to say in here right now... i am feeling so emotionless... and so alone.. even thoguh i knwo im not really... im just really confused about who i am... like i knwo who i am... but its still confusing... just when i get things sorted out in my head... things get confusing... its just so hard... and i knwo i sound like a whiny teenager... maybe i am... i dont know... i just didnt knwo what else to do... exept to call me gf... which im going to do now...