Do I hold on or do I let go?

Anonymous's picture

While we were dating, I really truly believed that I was in love with my girlfriend. When we broke up, her sister told me that she said she wished I'd leave her alone and that I was obsessed. As far as I know, the only thing that would have made her think that was the fact that I emailed her and told her that I still had feelings for her and some other stuff. I was only trying to tell her that I still cared about her. And I always will. Not necessarily as a girlfriend. I don't remember exactly what happened then, but we stopped talking. I recently emailed her and apologized because I felt really bad. We're talking now, as friends. Who knows if she has feelings for me. I doubt it..it seemed like she was pretty damn well over me. But I, on the other hand, can't seem to figure my feelings out. I care about her. She's my best friend, even if we don't talk lots. Like I said, she helped me figure out who I am, and she's the first person I really fell in love with. I keep telling myself that it's best if I move on and let go of these feelings. But no matter what my feelings are there. I think I'm still in love with her. I don't want to say anything about it to her because I don't want to piss her off or scare her away. I feel so immature...like a stupid little girl who just has a crush on someone she has not chance with. I my first real kiss to be with her. I wanted so much to do everything with her. She said the same...she had doubts about our relationship because it was over the internet. We were going to meet, but it didn't happen. We were going to talk on the phone, but that didn't happen either. I told her, if it's true love wouldn't it be worth the wait? I got jealous whenever she mentioned her ex. I got jealous when she talked to my friend..or even when she mentioned her. I had this fear that my friend would steal her away from me...she seems to attract lots of attention because of her big chest.... I felt so close to her. I could tell her anything. I could talk to her about anything. I made mistakes, and it felt like it was the worst thing I'd ever done. Because it hurt her. Basically, I'm looking for some advice on what to do.... do I sound obsessed? Being obsessed and being in love are two different things. Should I say anything about my feelings to her? Or should I try harder to just let go and move on?

Comments

sistinesylph's picture

This is what i'm placing by bet on

but I haven't tried it so forgive me if it's wrong. My belief is that you will always love your true love. You will always feel something for them and have a place for them in your heart. What to do about it? If she's moved on there's nothing you can do so just try to get over it. But if you can't do that, I don't know. Remember, I don't know for sure if this works but I'm hoping it does. Sorry, if I didnt' help but I hope it works out.
*Marie*

"Man it takes a silly girl
to lie about the dreams she has.
But lord, it takes a lonely one to wish
that she had never dreamt at all."