Okay, so maybe it's not over... I'm talking to my ex's sister, we're really good friends. And I decided to let her send me his response to my email...
Your an ignorant trifling girl. You claim that I don?t deserve and
apology and yet every couple of years you email me and express remorse for
god knows what. People like you ruin the world- wasting your time and
never having anything to show for it. Remember when we first met Olivia?
I do. It was in a ?Rhydin? chat room and we talked for hours. Ever
wonder why I started to drift away? You showed me the true waste of time
that you where, pursuing relationships that were nothing. Did you waste
time on my fat ass? Yes of course you did, being the dense diminutive
child that you will always be. Over the years I have surpassed you in
maturity, never once contacting you or your family asking pathetic follow
up questions. You maintain the ideals that you are of course "over me"
but ascertain that I am not over myself. Guess what Olivia? You cant
fathom what Love is, and I told you that when we got back together; Yet
you continued to say ?I Love you? and waste the breath you need to
trivial pile of shit you call a brain. On top the next topic of you
dismissal: The true meaning of hate. Tell me little girl, what is hate?
Is it the extreme dislike of everyone that is mean to you or is it the
hate for yourself because you cant see the truths in your soul that they
do. I know you Olivia? you can email me back with a spamming of hate
and anger but I know what this is. You feel bad because I rejected you
before you even got a chance to tell me how you felt. Six times we broke
up and got back together; I?m the one who will end the cycle. If I had
sympathized with your delusions I know exactly what would have
happened. We would have paired up once again, nothing changes in a year. I
realize your in high school and are probably now getting a ton of friends
but do you think that changes anything? You can claim all you want that
you have changed but if you had changed like me, why would you email me
back? In my state of maturity I saw no reason to apologize to you
have accepted what happened to us as a life lesson. Here is yours
Olivia: Don?t respond in hate when you have been rejected by someone. These
words will hurt you and I know it, but there comes a time when you need
to see yourself. I have partner now and thought you should know. Her
name is Keilie and she is the closest to love I have ever been. We can
sit and never say a word but there is never anything that is
uncomfortable. I sent you this email trying to help you, and wrote so much because
of our history. If I didn?t give a damn about you, and am such an
asshole, why didn?t I just write back a few lines with scathing retorts and
swearing? As soon as I send this you wont exist. The world is related
to your perception, so if I believe you don?t exist you wont. You will
forever be out of site and mind and to me that is worse than wishing a
person to hell. I?ll pray for you once, because I have the decency to
not wish pain on other.
PS- Oh and that pathetic blurb at the end of your email should be
erased, becuase if life hurts that much, then death can be no worse.
The REALLY sad thing is... his sister just asked if I was sure that I don't love him still. And I'm not sure. And I'm even crying about it... I'm so pissed off. At him. At me. How the hell can I shed tears over this ASSHOLE?! How is it possible that I still might LOVE HIM?! WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!