Granted, I haven’t consistently posted in a long time and hardly any of you know me because of the time gap in between my past posts and now, but I felt like posting. I love Oasis and I even love how it’s changed.
I’ve recently realized a few things about being gay. Looking back, I fought it so much…telling myself that I approved of the things I felt, but deep down wishing that I wasn’t so abnormal. I’ve never really been too different, too alien, from everyone around me, and I liked the feeling of being accepted. But according to society being gay is definitely abnormal (and according to some, it’s much worse than that). I’m still not exactly sure what I am as far as my sexual orientation goes but I’m really not fighting any outcome right now—gay or otherwise. I know I like girls…and I’m not doing anything to change that. I’m also not going out of my way to make sure I like guys equally because I’ve learned the hard way that feelings aren’t something you can alter on a whim. They’re part of me. I’ve got to deal with them, the same way that I’ve got to deal with the fact that my eyes are brown…there’s nothing I can do it change it.
I still struggle. I’m not out to many people, and I won’t be until I know what I am. Or until I’m satisfied with a label—which, maybe I never will be. I guess that’s fine.
The world shouldn’t run on labels anyway.