Stayed Home

Anonymous's picture

I don't understand why this is bothering me soo much. Michelle is straight. I tell myself "get over it." But I can't. Grr. And I'm so frustrated with myself. She's straight, period. There's nothing I can do about it. I'll never get her. So why can't I just stop thinking about her? It's strange how painful this is. This morning I broke down and cried, while Mom hugged me and said "I'm sorry. It's too bad." I was disappointed, like I was expecting her to say something to make everything okay again. Which is stupid. And then I ended up staying home from school because I felt like I was going to throw up. Because I was so upset. Then I slept all day. I even feel mad at my crush. That's so immature. I shouldn't be mad at her. She can't control whether or not she likes girls. No one can. Grrr. I just want to feel better.

Comments

Kai's picture

eek

Poor you *huggles* i was sitting in the kitchen today wondering about telling my friend i was gay. She's really pretty and perfect and friendly...and v V religious. Hence the waryness to tell her. Actually it shouldn't bother me because she's the most easy going person i know and even if it's weird at first i doubt she'd disown me. I thnik i'm just pissed because i know how straight she is.

-.- Hey i just made this whole post about me...bugger. Well IM me if you want, i don't mind talking. (more like ranting but meh.) ^.^

[Kai]

--*--^--*--
tap on my window, knock on my door...i want to make you feel beautiful.

crookedsmile's picture

Yeah, I get that all the time

Yeah, I get that all the time too. You're mad at them, because they don't like you. Then, I'll actually see her, and she'll grin at me to say hi, and my heart will melt again.

blueathena's picture

I know the feeling. I worked

I know the feeling. I worked at this place for a while, and at first I just knew there was another girl who worked there. I didn't think much about her at first... Thought she was cute, but I didn't want to have feelings because I knew I would be moving soon.
Then she goes and starts talking with me some. We find out we're very very similar, except, she's not gay. At first I couldn't tell, seriously, because she's so natural, so clear-cut, easy-going, honest and sincere. I was falling in love with her, and I was just hoping that something would finally hint that she was gay. We hung out together sometimes, I had dinner at her place and showed her some stuff on the computer (she's not as computer literate as I am). And then she showed me this picture of a male swimmer who was in the Olympics and she said he was really hot. my heart fell. But I smiled, said yeah...
But I did finally come out to her, though in email. I was going to see her and some other people the next day anyway. But her response was still friendly. I never told her I had had a crush on her. But woah... It broke my heart to have to leave... never see her again, because I moved from central Mississippi to Kentucky.

I guess after a while we get over it... past it. Maybe someone else will catch your eye, and you'll be obsessing and daydreaming about them instead. I do hope to find someone like "my girl" again.