Growing Up But Staying the Same

Spirit1313's picture

I grow up. I get older. I take on more responsibilities, but I stay in the same place. I get to a place where I can almost feel stable, and dare I say it, happy. But no, I don't stay there. I don't reach that level. I fall backwards. And I hit that same spot over and over again, making a deeper impression each time. Sinking deeper and deeper into everything. Drowning in it. Yet I always cover that up and hide it. I want to be everything for everyone.

I know what part of it is. My mother has instilled in me this need to be "the good child". You know, the one who doesn't do the wrong things, does work around the house, takes care of everyone first. And that's what I have been. Of course, my sister doesn't make that such a hard thing to acheive. I don't know what it is. There's something inside of me that I can't ignore telling me to take in everyone's well being before my own. And now I am stuck in this neverending cycle.

When your world crashes down and lays at your feet in pieces, what do you do? Do you pick up the pieces and put them together again? Do you start from the beginning and build a new world?

*sighs* As always, thank you Oasis. Have a great day everyone.

Comments

lilgdreamer's picture

My parents...

Both my parents are the same way. I'm a daddy's girl so I always pretty much listen to my dad and also my mom. Two of my sisters were very rebellious my age and now my 3rd oldest sis is away off to college. I'm here a junior who takes care of every1 pretty much. I do the chores and watch over my sisters since I'm the oldest now at home. Sometimes I don't know what to do but if u have some1 (even a friend) it HELPS, before friends weren't real important to me because well there's a reason... so if it were me I would just pick up the pieces instead of starting all over again from the start. Mistakes u learn from them, well hopefully

~*MiA*~

**There is a reality to every dream... don't just reach for the stars-get a ladder, climb up there, & be among them."

KieBem81's picture

oh im there too...its hard :/

"If you love someone, tell them for hearts are often broken by words left unspoken"