I like this girl. A lot. And I said I was giving the internet thing another try. But I guess my last girlfriend had more of an impact on me than I thought. I know I have to get over her. I know that if anything it would probably be bad for me to get back into a relationship with her. This girl is so understanding...I told her I need to just be friends with her for now. I really really want to be more, but I don't want her to end up getting hurt. I don't know what she would get hurt by, either. I guess in the end I'm just scared. She calls me babe. I love it. I like her. She's sweet. She says I'm cute. I'm confused.
I was close to coming out to my Dad today...I was thinking of emailing him. My heart was pounding. I was scared shitless. But at the same time I knew I wasn't going to do it...I had it all planned out. I was going to call my Mom at work, talk to her about it, and if she thought it was okay I was going to email my Dad and tell him. I even had the whole email planned out. I know I'm going to have to tell him eventually. I don't want it to be when I'm a lot older. I was thinking of telling him I'm bi just so that he wouldn't be so upset - if he'd be upset at all - and feel like all hope was lost for one of his daugthers. I don't want him to stop thinking of me as his little girl. I don't want to screw up our relationship. He's my Daddy and I still need him to be my Daddy. I love him. I need him to love me for who I am. I need to tell him. I need to tell him soon. There's no getting around this, I know that. I just don't know if I can deal with it if he reacts badly...God, I'm scared.