Here I am, standing beside myself – among everyone I know
and everyone I knew. I see my love; I wish that I could dry those tears. I wish
I could kiss those lips; and that beautiful face, how it shimmered with inner
light, but now is filled with gloom –the sad gloom of thinking life will not go
on – in which time will pause for an eternity and never resume in its endless
course. For that’s how I am now. Time has frozen, and I can look into every
small detail of the world and wish that time would thaw and show me the next
course of action.
I see the mother, her teary eyes long for life to
breathe back into her youngest son. A mother’s love is always known, because she
never hides it; never lets anyone take that love away. Emotions made so sweet
for of having such a sweet thing in her life. When this is suddenly taken, she
has no choice but to weep for her immense loss. Even after uncomfortable times.
The father: all facial expression is void, no sign of remorse
for the son that caused him the most trouble. He only has an arm over the
shoulder of a woman who only looks with only a mild sympathy toward the crying
woman overwhelmed with her loss.
A girl stands close to the teary woman, obviously saddened by
the loss of her younger sibling. The mutual love-hate between the two has, in an
instant, changed to the purest love and sorrow.
I now feel nothing, because I am a ghost: left to walk the
earth with only a slight connection to the living. My own fate sealed by a
selfless act of sacrifice. I had no choice in the matter, for I did not want
fate to bring down the end of another. I could not let the future memories leave
me so simply, and without a fight. I was obliged to save the one I love from
those I put trust in with such naivety.
My eyes notice the door to the room is open halfway. Peeking
into the room is a man with a curious look on a face. He is an unknown stranger.
Yet, I feel that I know this man in a way, as if our lives are intertwined in
some strong way. As I approached him, time appeared to slowly advance. It almost
seemed like my movement allowed time to move. I looked into his eyes and he
became more and more familiar. All things seemed to disappear and I was left
looking into his eyes as a different world emerged. The world seemed to spin
beneath me. I then felt a sudden jump and was sitting looking out into a crowd
with the taste of metal in my mouth.