warning: this is melodramatic

Army_your_green's picture

Has you ever thought...so this is life...this is it. I wish I actually had a thirst for life instead of this indifferent numbness. I hate it. I hate not wanting to wake up in the morning. Or taking the energy to pick up the phone and call someone. I hate that I know I am a loser and all my friends are losers. I hate highschool. I hate that Alex is straight. I hate that Joi is not. I hate how the only person I can say no to is my sister. I hate that I let myself stay friends with Ashley...even though I can barely stand her. I hate that I have no idea where I am going to go next year. I hate that everytime I want to cry I can't. I am dead inside. I hate that I drink alone. Why I am so alone? I hate that I let stupid shit get to me. I hate that very few know who I really am; what I am really like. I hate that my life is so mudane; so habitual. I hate that Francine and I don't really talk anymore. I hate that I don't understand life or just the point of anything. I hate how one day I am going to wake up and wonder why I have wasted my life away. I hate everything...especially myself and my stupid boring life. I am so fucking disatisfied. But instead of doing something about it, I am writing here. Yup...I am sorry that you guys listened to my pathetic rant. I am sure that your pretty annoyed right about now. I would be. So I think I will just shut up...

Comments

the truth about me's picture

I wish that I had some advice

I wish that I had some advice for you, I really do. I wish that I could say some brilliant, inspirational thing that would make you think that everything was sparkles and sunshine, but I have often found myself thinking the same things. I wish that life just wasn't so damn depressing, but it is. The sme boring routine day in and day out. But it will eventually get better. Hopefully. Just find something that makes you happy. I know that is pretty lame advise, but it is all that I can come up with.

I hope you fell better about everything soon!

~Erin y.

"Life's not a song
Life isn't bliss
Life is just this: It's Living"

niks121997's picture

I agree

Yeah once again I'm wishing I had magic words to make it all better. However, that's unrealistic. I agree with Erin; there has to be something that makes you slightly less depressed. I use the word happy sparingly. So less depressed.

"All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream."

StarLight's picture

How about listing off what yo

How about listing off what you love in life. The smell of fresh cut roses? The sun shining? whatever. I know that always makes me feel better.