I Am No One's Beast Of Burden

Rikki's picture

Have you ever had one of those "straw that broke the camel's back" moments? Well this camel is throughly pissed off. What set me off? Some of my earrings popped out and I lost a back. Silly isn't it? Of course it isn't that simple.

All the holes are infected. All of them. Eight. And I have to look at them. I have to look at the ugly and it pisses me off. Every single thing lately has been really weighing on me. College stuff. Family issues. Lonelyness. And now I have to look at this mess. Sure. I suspected it. I didn't know a damn thing about this stuff. First couple weeks I thought I was turning them but it was just the backs. And now they are out. And you know what? That damn parasite just shot itself in the face. I will not live for anyone or anything else anymore.

I am sick and tired of it all.

In the morning. I am going down to breakfast and I am talking to Rachel. The girl who I can only seem to say hello too. This weekend, my mom said she and my one brother would come down and we could go grocery shopping. Perfect. I'm asking her point blank what she thinks. Everyone will get to know. Knowing her. And you know what. They can DEAL with it. I am sick of this.

It's my damn life. I only get one shot at it. And I am not going to blow it all away pleasing others. They don't like it? Hell with them. I don't like them then. I'm already about as cut off as a person can get. What are they going to do? Exile me and force me to live in Canada?