Who to love?

supergray's picture

What are you looking for when looking for someone to date?
Are there people you'd just write off, just because?

Here's where this is coming from:
I've heard that gay guys find *ehm* body parts *cough* more important than girls. As in: Lesbians are more likely to date a girl-who-was-once-a-boy than a gay guy is to date a boy-who-was-once-a-girl, considering penile construction surgery is extremely costly and not of such great quality and many transeuxal guys simply can't afford it, or decide its not worth the cost/risk.

So: (This whole post is so damn hard to write), Would you gay boys date a gay transexual? Lesbians date a trannygirl?

How about if they hadn't had surgery/hormones? (ie. the trannygirl has "boy parts" and the trannyguy still has breasts and other unmentionables?)

Would you? Could you? Any thoughts? Or, if you have none on this subject, just answer this: Whats the most important trait/traits in a potential lover, according to you?

Paladin's picture

Some things change. Some things never do.

I would find the face more important than the rest of the body, unless they were rather fat (no offense to anyone who is). I would have difficulty dating them because there would be a disagreement between what I see and what the person is. That would be tough to resolve.

If things were only at the dating stage, then it wouldn't necessarily be too difficult to ignore the breasts, but it would be harder to not notice the feminine aspects of the face.

As for the rest of the body, well that would depend on the skill of the surgeon in making it appear real. I don't think that I would be interested in having sex with a person who didn't have any surgery, or if it didn't end up appearing very realistic. Sex may be better when you're in love with the person, but sex is definitely mostly about lust. And as we all know, you can't change what type of body you lust for.

StarLight's picture

I would somewhat disagree wit

I would somewhat disagree with Paladin. Yeah, sex sometimes is just about lust and the actual act/goal of sex. But not always. It can also be about just being with that person. About being close to them. When my girl and I first started having sex, it was about being together...if things didn't reach a climax, oh well. We just wanted to be together. It's still like the majority of the time.

So, to answer supergray's question, I looked for a friend. My girl and I were friends before we realized we were in love. To me, looks never mattered. It was personality. It doesn't matter what a person looks like. If you love them, they are the most beautiful person in the world.

Agarwaen's picture

Definitely true, StarLight. A

Definitely true, StarLight. At least, if I'm in love I find that I honestly could care less what the person looked like. The defining attraction is in personality and the "aura" that s/he gives off.

Kai's picture

good question

I think dating someone like that would be such a unique experiance i'm really not sure what i'd think! Everyone i meet and like start off being friends first so if they had a good personality i'd automatically like them.

Then i guess i'm kind of attracted to people with issues. I love the challange of trying to get through to someone that might have issues about relationships and if it doesn't work out at least i have a close friend.

I reckon i would go out with them mainly for the reasons above but also because i value personality more than looks and i doubt it would gross me out at all.

but then again i've never been in that position so i can't say for sure. Interesting question though! ^.^



tap on my window, knock on my door...i want to make you feel beautiful.

NovaCat's picture

If I liked the person suffici

If I liked the person sufficiently, yes, I'm sure I would be able to get beyond my baser impulses which tell me that looks, or *cough* body parts matter. However, I have so far been unable to fall in love with or become infatuated with someone who is not of the male persuasion. Until this scenario happens, I'm not going to worry about it, because if I think about it too much now, I'll probably go insane coming up with exceptions and absolutes.

Barralai's picture

Umm well I dont know... I guess

I guess I mean umm well it depends, on if I knew them before they had the operation.

SwingCEO's picture


I definitely have to agree with you on that. I mean, i don't really know how I'd feel, but i think knowing them before the operation definitely plays a crucial role.

Dancing is a vertical expression of a horizontal desire.

Brosia's picture

Not a problem.

It really depends on how I connected with the person. When you're truly in love with someone, everything about them suddenly becomes appealing. A trannygirl would stand just as good a chance as anyone else in my eyes. Seduce my mind and...well, you know the rest.

supergray's picture


Seduce my mind

*Grin* This would make an awesome Tshirt

unicornz's picture


if "she" would look the part and id be attracted to her before i knew...sure. it might actually make some things easier. i think itd be adventurous and i dont think id have a problem with it. i actually had a conversation about this with my straight girl friend, and she thinks the same too. score one for trans ppl!

OliviaReborn's picture

I am MtF and my Gf is fine ab

I am MtF and my Gf is fine about the body part's. Though we never "did" anything yet. She is the greatest Woman alive. Love is what really matters.

toki's picture

i'm answering, duh!

i wouldn't date a transexual girl just cuz i'm not attracted to girl/guys or whatever i'm not saying that i think that there is somthing wrong wit them in fact i think that it's kinda cool but i dunno i just wouldn't date one

Fairylover2008's picture


I don't think I would I don't think I could
I think its just me but I don't think I would
But then who knows

I was stuck inside someone else's life and always second best
Ashlee Simpson "Shadow"