A lost Prophet

Brutal's picture

Where do I go from here...where am i going to end up...What am i goin' to be in a couple of years...I dunno sometimes these questions plague me and at the same time calm me. Some times i just love to wake up in the middle of the nite..its 2:33 jump outta bed and drive down to the city or the ocean and wander aimlessly...Almost as if i'm trying to find lost remenants of myself.

I guess since i was little i've always been curious about the future and "whats goin' to happen in a few years"..I guess i love this innocence about myself...it's a part of my childhood innocence that i hope last forever. Sometimes i kinda saddens me to see alot of people grow up really fast or try to force themsleves to grow up fast. I also saddens me to see things change but thats something that i'm gettin' better with dealin'. Change can be a good thing. Sometimes i just sit in my room and listen for hours on end, doing nothing what so ever.

I have no clue as to why i'm postin' this...it has no purpose what so ever other than its the only means in which i can vent rite now. I'm not happy...and I'm not sad...I just am. What ever you're feelin' when your'e alone in your room or what ever please share i wanna know if there's anyother lost prophets out there.

Fairylover2008's picture

Sometime

Seeing as how I grew up way to soon. I sometimes
feel like I am still trying to find myself I sometimes
feel like a child in an adults body

How Could I be mislead to me ya'll are both dead...
No sense in being loud you found your own way in,
now you can find it out JC Chasez "Slept with my best friend"

Brutal's picture

Forced entry.....

Do you feel that being gay/lesbian/bi/whatever kinda forced you to mature quickly...Maybe the knowledge that your'e "different" from everybody else kinda an enhancement toward maturity. When we're young an we're ethusiatically curious about the big bad world do we lose that cuz we're forced by society to act a certain way or is it just by choice FOR EX>Masculine and Feminem guys><

"Time is jaded..Seconds tick...but life is eternal"

Fairylover2008's picture

Sometimes

Maybe but not really I am one of fourteen kids including me
and I think that forced me to grow up faster.
Seeing all the foster kids come into my home Plus
with me I was always a rebel always ready to do
everything before I really got a grasp of how to
do it.
How Could I be mislead to me ya'll are both dead...
No sense in being loud you found your own way in,
now you can find it out JC Chasez "Slept with my best friend"

Brutal's picture

Sounds like the Brady Bunch

Damn forteen kids>?< Your parents must love raisin' kids. How's it like living in your house. Can you give me a lil' details of a normal day. I definately agree with the fact that when you have a big family you have to grow up faster espcially if you're the eldest. I'm the eldest in my little nuclear family. As soon as my baby bro. was born i found my self carin' bout someone else..Perhaps that's a sign that we're growin' and maturin'. When we stop our "selfishness" and start genuinely carin' about others....What do you think?

You could see me reaching
So why couldn't you have
Met me halfway:_-_-Incubus (mexico)

Fairylover2008's picture

Yeah o.k.

I am not the oldest I have 3 older siblings plus
my twin sister. A normal day In the morning I wake
up me and twin. Get dressed get up everyone else my
parents are gone to there respestive jobs. Since
no one goes to the same school we have eight bus
stops and everyone has to be ready at 7:00 a.m. to
go means I am up at 3:00 when I lived there and had everyone
ready by that time. Then when I got home I was usually first and
would start dinner and get everyone in and to the
respective place to do there homework. When my parents
got home dinner was expected to be on the table
no excuse. So that would be a day when there was
no surpises
Only six of the the fourteen are my real siblings
The youngest three are adopted and the others we
are there foster home and they never left. Its
crazy and I would have loved to have a small
family but I guess I didn't get that

How Could I be mislead to me ya'll are both dead...
No sense in being loud you found your own way in,
now you can find it out JC Chasez "Slept with my best friend"

Brutal's picture

Shhhh...listen to the beautiful silence......

"You could see me reaching
So why couldn't you have
Met me halfway"_-_-_-_Incubus (mexico)

___I think too much sometimes....outta sight outta mind...Bliss through ignorance....I love the emptiness of the void that comes when your'e just chillen with your girl or listenin' to a mellow song in the cool darkness.______

zero's picture

in tribal societies, almost a

in tribal societies, almost all of the prophets/shamans were either bi or gay. the native americans called these people "two-spirited," and believed they had special powers to harmonize the masculine and feminine energies. they were respected as artists, healers, and seers who could see things from both sides of the coin.

i kinda feel like a prophet. i get visions of the future and i'm really concerned about events happening in the world right now. glad to know i'm not alone.

keep it up bro, you might go somewhere with it.

Brutal's picture

Tank chu' veti mooch

Really Appreciate the feed back everyone...thanks

"Time is jaded..Seconds tick...but life is eternal"

Andrewgirl3's picture

i love being alone/i hate being alone

depending on my mood I can love or hate being alone in my room or alone on a walk. I generally like it though. sometimes I'll go walk outside-especially when the weather matches my mood. Not really sad-just kind of fuzzy, apart from it all. or somethimes i really hate it and wonder why I just can't seem to fit it and be in synch with what is going on. and i don't want to lose what innocence i have left. You don't notice it slipping away until you realize that you are losing it. I'm about the opposite on the future thing though. I don't want to know what is going to happen at all. I don't want to know if I have to keep dealing with all the bs of my life in a few years. If I walk and be alone in the quiet i can just pretend that are gone for a little while and hope that when i return to civilization, they will magically be gone.

*Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one*

Brutal's picture

Yawn...3: in the morin' gotta go to sleep....

I don't wanna sound like i'm obsessed with the future. I'm not the kinda person that's callin' Miz Cleo for the lotto numbers..I'm more just curious..Often times i like the mystery and unknown of the future..makes things intrestin' just like playin' a game without the gameguide or walkthroughs. My philosophy is that everything happens for a reason and the future will always work it's self out.

"You could see me reaching
So why couldn't you have
Met me halfway
You could see me bleeding
But you could not put
Pressure on the wound"----Incubus.(Mexico)