A Monty Python Christmas Song for Christmas Cheer

suffragettecity's picture

It's not that I don't like Christmas, it's just that I have kind of a love-hate relationship with it, and I can't help but play "Scrooge" just for fun. Here are the lyrics to one of my favorite Monty Python songs, "Ho Ho Fucking Ho," so that you can get your families and friends to sing it.

This was written by Eric Idle, and is sung to the tune of "Jingle Bells" (w/ British accent):

CHORUS:
Ho ho fucking ho, what a crock o' shit
We all work for Santa Claus, we've 'ad enough, we quit
'Cos we do all the fuckin' work while he stars in the show,
Stick your Christmas up yer arse, ho ho fucking ho

(Verses sung to the tune of the "Dashing through the snow..." part)
I'm Rudolph and I quit, just who's he think he is?
Little fat cunt sittin' back in the sleigh, crackin that fuckin' whip
An' me stuck up the front, of these other useless cunts
Stick your Christmas up your arse, ho ho fucking ho

(CHORUS);

And what about us Elves? We've 'ad enough as well
Workin' in that freezin' factory, cold as fuckin' Hell
Work until we drop, with our bollocks freezin' up,
Stick your Christmas up your arse, ho ho fucking ho

(CHORUS);

I'm Santa Claus' wife, I know what he's really like:
Sneakin' into them little kids' rooms - he's a fuckin' pedophile!
A devious old drunk, and I'm married to the cunt,
so stick your Christmas up your arse, ho ho fucking ho

(CHORUS);
Stick your Christmas up your arse, ho ho fucking ho
Stick your Christmas up your arse, ho ho fucking ho

Anyway, Merry Christmas...

Comments

Sirens call's picture

hmmm...

Well...that's very...*ahem* different...lol, anyways i love Monty Python, even in spite of (or maybe because of) the rude songs they sing...hehe, Merry Christmas xox

suffragettecity's picture

Christmas

Personally, I have kind of a love-hate relationship with Christmas. The presents and festivity are always nice, but the cheesiness associated with it is kind of a bummer for me. Also, I don't see the reason for only having one day of the year when we're supposed to be nice to people.

I always liked that scene from John Waters' "Female Trouble" with Divine throwing a temper-tantrum because she didn't get ballet slippers. I think John Waters has that same love-hate thing with Christmas.

Then again, it's on days like this that I really wish I had my boyfriend with me, so I guess I still have some traces of sentimental attachment left in my degeneratively cynical mind ;)

Froehliche Weinachten

"Sometimes a little brain damage helps."
-- George Carlin