Glancing over all these self mutilation posts...

tarni's picture

And there's just one thing I want to say. One thing I read was what someone wrote, where they said, basically: "I cut because I can control it". And hey, I don't like arguing and yelling, but it's not something you can control. Alcoholics say that. People addicted to smoking say that. Anything you do that hurts you in any way that you can't stop or talk yourself out of most of the time, is something controlling you, not you controlling it. And yes, I've experienced that shit, it sucks hell, I know. BUt I wasn't in control, and I know it. I knew it then. I bloody bought a knife to cut myself with, and I'm proud to say I ditched it when I cleaned out my room recently. Good thing too, because it was quite bloodstained.

Don't kid yourself. Quit, stay 'quit-ed' for several years, then go back on it out of free choice. Then, and only then, will I say that you're in control. Because it doesn't help, it doesn't show you're stronger, and the longer you kid yourself that it does. the longer it'll take you to drop it.

Cutting sucks, and all the great people out there who're trapped in the doenward cycle, please, don't. You're all stronger than that. *pokes* Yes you are. Now use those razors for ugly legs, not slashes in carefully selected places where they won't be seen.

Tarni

Comments

ACCgirl's picture

Amen!

Amen!

Andrewgirl3's picture

yeah

you know, looking around this site, its sad to see how many of us are depressed/and or cutting. I read somewhere that GLTBQ teens are 70% more likely to be depressed and/or kill themselves... now that is sad.

*The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your action*

the mouse that roared's picture

Yay! A positive post about al

Yay! A positive post about all this! I heard somewhere that GLBT people make up 1/3 of all suicides...

west's picture

hi tarny, nice of you to rea

hi tarny,
nice of you to read my post. not nice of you to comment on it and not say who wrote it. you can call me out-if you think i'm wrong. and clearly you do. aren't we all here to be open? can't you be open enough to letting me know you were going to quote me before doing it?
i think that's a little more compassionate.
you don't know me. you might have been a cutter. congradulations for stopping.
but we are not all the same. even if we are gay or lesbian or bisexual. whoopdedoo. that's only one side of us. it's only about who we love. cutting is just another side. but i am not the same lesbian you are-and i am not the same cutter that you were.
i appreciate your points. i respect them as well. but respect me enough to disagree with me and come to me with your "advice" or words or disagreement.
west

tarni's picture

Hey there

Look, sorry about not quoting your name. When I rant, I just write, and don't think about quotes or anything. I didn't mean to purposely not quote you or anything. Also, I did read two or three others, yours was just the only one I quoted, and I didn't really have the time to go find all of the names of the posters. Circumstances and a one track mind, it sucks.

And about the post, I wasn't really diagreeing with you personally or anything, I was just ranting. Seeing three or four of those types of post just made me angry, because I personally view the GLBT community as tougher than lots of others, because they've had to confront societies stereotypes and have decided to go with who they are and tell society to fuck off. Knowing, and seeing, that lots of GLBT hurt themselves therefore makes me sad, and angry that they can't keep that strength going in all areas of their life.

And to the other commentors: thank you. I don't have much time right now, but I may reply to another comment or two directly, but later. Thanks for reading, and I really appreciate that you took the time to reply. *hugs to all*

Tarni.

--------

"People who take you at face value will always be your true friends. Truth + laughter = good friendships."
--milly the fairy

Paladin's picture

I don't mean to offend anyone, but...

You might question my ability to comment, since I have never commited any act of self-harm, and don't think I ever will. But if someone cuts him/herself, and is in control of the situation, then IMO that person must be insane, or self-loathing, or something equally bad. Control or no control, it doesn't matter (what does it mean to be in control anyway). Key point is there's something very dysfunctional in the mind of a cutter.

I don't see any reason to think of it as significantly different from anorexia, or something similar.

It did occur to me that maybe the reason why there was a sudden upsurge in cutting is because it's Christmas. Anyone agree?

Dave

insanepenguin's picture

...

I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't attack me for anything I say...
I cut. I have had depression since my sophomore year of high school, and I am now a senior. I started cutting near the end of my sophomore year. There have been times where I haven't cut for 6-7 months, but something comes and sends me spiraling downward again. Cutting is sort of an addiction... It is hard to quit. It's just like when someone tries to quit smoking, they can't just stop. Most people who cut need to be in therapy and possibly be put on antidepressants or some other med like that. I know it's hard to stop, I've done well, and then my life has gone downhill and I self-injured again. I've been in counseling for almost two years, and have been on my antidepressant for about the same amount of time. Cutting is not that easy to quit...

As I sit here typing, I can recall three incidents so far this school year that I have self-injured. I was fine for 7 months, and then in late September-early October I was dealing with too many things at once, and I hurt myself. I then hurt myself about two weeks later. I was SI free for about a month, before I scratched the crap out of my arm on November 28... It's not that easy to stop...

~*Kate*~
Ban ignorance damn it!

Beautiful Oblivion's picture

I don't wanna be badgered wit

I don't wanna be badgered with what I'm about to say, but...

Well, maybe that's how it was for you. I used to cut, not anymore though. My life was going out of control, and I couldn't do anything about it. I had an abusive boyfriend, always depressed, no friends, a social outcast, not to mention a cutter..the whole enchilada. I've come to realize that's the only thing I could control. That's why I did it. I'm not saying you're wrong, but you're not completely right. You might've done it because you needed to vent the first time and then couldn't stop. Many people are like you.

"Have you ever felt so out of place
that the smile on your face
was to keep from crying?" -The Verve Pipe

Darkest Dream's picture

I wrote to many posts about this subject and

I hate cutting, even if i was one damn lover of Blood.
The post of tarni makes a lot of sense.

yes we are all different cutters , I agree
But hey, all of us can catch these illnesses that cannot be healed with SI ALL OF US ALL DIFFERENT KINDS OF SI
I want to be a doctor, and, when i thought i could loose my girlfriend because of SI, I realised how bad it was doing to a health, and i'm trying to make it realise to many of you so you can see, you can see what it's about. Aids, anemia, leucemia? Infections tetanos?
Not to say, one of the reasons of heart attacks, SHOCK or vascualarian accidents.

I know i'm insignifiant to all of you, but i'm trying to tell you all how it's no control to get yourself in something dangerous.

With cutting, i almost lost my arm by doing an internal hemorragy.

And i hope all of you realise it is not something you can choose to do, if you don'T want to have a real problem the rest of your life. How suicidal will be your kid when you'll die of a heart attack? We have to stop looking at our belly and start being MATURE

Think about the future and yeah you might be cutting again, but reduce it to the maximum and deal with your life, don'T be a loser, like i was.

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* Do not say: I'm a cutter and i like it, because you have no reasons to be proud of that. Say: I was cutter and i am Proud of having stopped.