"Hey, what's up?" My cousin asks me, plainly wishing for a close conversation about the traumas of everyday life. I think of how to respond. These days, when friends and family ask me what's going on in my life, I find it hard to answer. "Oh, just the usual. You know, questioning my sexual orientation, parents fighting more and more, my best friend still doesn't love me back the way I want him to. How are you?" is not the response they're looking for. I can't tell anyone how I'm feeling anymore. I wish I could come out as questioning, but the overall community isn't accepting enough. I'm beginning to dread people asking me how I'm doing.
My cousin looks at me expectantly. I smile sweetly. "Fine. How are you?"