secrets

a restless heart's picture

i'm afraid to write this cuz i've never told anyone...but i've done stuff with a girl before. and the weird part is that it was when i was little. my cousin liz and i used t play house and i was alwas the boy. (husband, dad, etc). and at first it was just a game, but one time we kissed. and from then on, we always kissed as part of the game, as long as no one else was there. then her parents got an RV/camper thing, and we would play in that. and when we were like, 11, we used to, well i think its called 'dry humping" and we did that. and once, we were naked. it was so...weird! and everytime i think about it i feel guilty. but i remember that i liked it. and i also remember that my cusin once asked me if it made us lesbians, and i said no, cuz i didn't think it did. ugh! everything is fucked up.

Comments

Darkest Dream's picture

it's okay

It's part of growing up and knowing more about ourselsevles and the sexuality. I've done things with some people and even cousin before now, and i'm telling you, now that i am with my girlfriend, ehm, Nothign i had even experienced was ever as good as what we do now.

Do not feel guilty, i guess many people pass by that thing, and it's not relation or anything. just a game to know more about the body and else.

Merry X-mas to you!
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* Do not say: I'm a cutter and i like it, because you have no reasons to be proud of that. Say: I was cutter and i am Proud of having stopped.

vel's picture

games like that

Yes, I had role playing games like that with certain friends of mine when I was younger now. And I'm sure that these 2 friends remember them now, because I think the latest it happened could have been when I was 11 or 12? But we've never talked about it. It's not even awkward, because it's totally unmentioned by me or either of my friends. But like you, I liked it, liked it a lot more than any dancing or other such things I ever did with a boy. Things you do when you're little shouldn't be shameful, they're how you figure yourself out. Our society just has a big taboo on sex. That's interesting that your cousin actually identified it as lesbian behavior and asked out about it. Neither of my friends questioned it or tried to lable it. I don't know what I would have done if they had - maybe questioned my sexuality a few years earlier. :)

Sirens call's picture

I'd forgotten

Wow...i haven't thought about it for like ten years...or even really remember doing it till you wrote ur entry, but i now vaguely recall doing something like that with a friend when i was very young *blush* anyways, no need for details...but ur not the only one.

MajorMadness's picture

Is that so wierd?

Lots of kids experiment with family members. My sister and I experimented, and I discovered I don't like bobbies that much. Then, I go to high school and take my first shower after gym, and let's just say that I never had any more questions...