the hurricane in my head

Lady with a tiara's picture

This is my first entry on this site. I joined because i thought that maybe,if i could just get in some kind of contact with other people my own age, who
may or may not be going through something i am, i could feel better with who i am-or who i am becoming. Not that i really expect anyone to read this,
but maybe it will just help sending my thoughts out into the void.
I am attracted to a girl. Before i met her, i was attracted to the idea
of being with a girl. I daydream so much about love and relationships,
and all i seem to be able to dream about now is me kissing another girl...not
a boy, but a girl. And i'm okay with that-i'm just not okay with how others
will act towards me is i tell them. I want to figure everything out before i
officially "come out" to anyone-but i can't even seem to do that.
I don't know if i am just bisexual or actually lesbian. Am i supposed to
pin point it like that or just go with the flow of how i feel?
I have these grand thoughts of meeting someone i can share this all with.
That's probably why i brought myself to sign up at this site-i think i will
meet someone just like me who i can relate to and who can help me work things out.
Most of the time, i expect too much, or wish for too much.
I guess now that i have a public outlet for all this stuff-i have filled my journal
to the end debating myself about my sexuality-i can type it all here,
and hope for some help. If anyone wants to write to me, feel free. I'll be back
here soon to rant some more.

Comments

Andrewgirl3's picture

go with the flow

Hey, and welcome to oasismag.-cool icon by the way-. Oasis is a cool place to share your feelings and have people going through the same ordeal communicate with you. there are a lot of us (i think i've been here long enough to say us) here who are still wondering exactly what we are. so- join the club!

*The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your action*

reserved41's picture

wow

Hello, and welcome to Oasis! You sound just like I did a few years ago. I don't think it's that important to have such a definitive title for your sexuality. Many people aren't sure, and I am one of those many. I am attracted to girls, and I consider myself a lesbian. The day I get with a guy hell will have frozen over, but it could still happen. :) What is really important is that you accept yourself. That is what will really make a difference if and when you decide to come out. Also you don't have to come out to everyone at one time. I think it's easier not to. The people you tell might surprise you and be more accepting than you expect.

Broken_Soul's picture

Are these feelings new to you

Are these feelings new to you or have you always had them.