And our next nominee for the closeted-skills medal is...

the mouse that roared's picture

I'm so bad at being closeted. I'm just reflecting on my past few months of closetedness, and it makes me squirm to think of how many close escapes I've had with coming out to homophobic people.

I think the worst one was a few weeks ago, when the music department had a field trip to go see a show. There were some pretty hot people starring in it, and their hotness became a topic of conversation on the bus ride home. All of us girls went on about how hot one of the lead guys was, and then the lone guy in our vicinity of the bus--we'll call him Fred--commented, "Those girls were pretty hot, too," but by then the conversation had moved on to other things.

I heard him, though, and agreed "Yeah... they were," without thinking. He may not have heard, though--I was speaking a little quietly, as I usually do. And if he did hear, he may have thought I was just teasing him or something. Fred's a Christian, so I don't know how accepting he would be, even if I knew what my sexual orientation was.

It's a good thing he's only an aquaintance, so I don't have to worry about losing a friendship--I just have to worry about him talking. I can be so stupid sometimes! I think I'm getting jaded about this whole keeping-a-big-secret thing. My closeted energy went into hiding my crush on Alan for so many years. Oh well...

This is kind of a pointless post. Sorry it's not more angsty/entertaining. I'm just procastinating on homework...

Comments

extreme447's picture

hmm

thats crazy because my music department tends to be wicked accepting. i have never dealt with homophobia in that particular facet of my school life. i live near you too btw. completely unrelated to the subject at hand but i was just looking at your profile and noticed so i thought i'd write it here too.

the mouse that roared's picture

That's cool you live near me! :)

In general, the music department is accepting, but there are the few homophobes and Christian Rights there, too. I happened to be talking to one of them... smart of me, I know. Thanks for hte reply!

Darkest Dream's picture

hi i read your post and thou

hi
i read your post and thought i could comment but arrived down here i totally froze and forgot my idea. And then i realised, isn't this how we feel after we first come out in a really really hidden way? We're like oh my! i have truly said that!

Giving little hints isn't that bad and i perosnnaly think it's funny. People ask themselves questions but they cannot be sure and you look at them with a mysterious smile and it goes on with this suspense.

hey, i was wondering, how is your spanish going? Do you think it's easy learning it or no? I knew you like the language so i thought we could discuss about it since i know it a little.

Take care of you!
xxxxxxxxx
>> Am I Souless or only Blinded by Darkness? <<

the mouse that roared's picture

Yeah, I suppose it was kind of funny :)

Thanks for the nice reply... My Spanish is all right. I've been taking it in school for like five years. It's getting a lot harder now, what with strange tenses and stuff. But I'm doing all right. I'm going to Spain on a school trip in a few months, and we're only allowed to speak Spanish there, so I hope it's good enough to survive for two weeks! :) I like learning Spanish, though. It's somethimes hard to learn, but I'm good at memorizing, so it's not so bad. I pick it up relatively easily.

Eddie UK's picture

I think everybody gets bored

I think everybody gets bored of being closeted in time and just puts less effort into it as time goes on. I always used to enjoy saying gay things when I was in the closet and seeing how far I couldpush my luck.

Nic's picture

Pointing Something Out...

Okay, so it may be a wee bit presumptuous of me to "point something out" after only joining the site something like a week ago, but whatever... that's what it's here for, right?

Anyway. I'm a lesbian... or bi, somewhere between the two... I dunno, something like that. *Anyway*. I'm also a Christian. I've come out to two of my youth group leaders, and two friends (one of whom is bi) who are Christians. There's a lot of Christians who are accepting. There's a lot who will damn you to Hell. And there's a lot who pretend to be accepting, but really just try and give you "reasons" for why you're the way you are (whatever that might be) and try to change to to make you "acceptable" in their eyes.

Either way, my point is (yes, I do have on in here) that not all Christians have a problem with homosexuality or bisexuality. And IMO, the ones that do, aren't really Christians at all.

Nic

"I said I'm a lesbian. That means you have no chance."

the mouse that roared's picture

Sorry

I don't really know that much about how Christians treat GLBT-ness, and having heard a lot about and a lot from Christians who didn't accept it, I guess I assumed that most--if not all Christians were like that. Of course, that couldn't be true. I shouldn't have made such sweeping generalizations about Christianity, and I'm sorry. I guess I'm prejudiced towards Christian views, but I'm trying to change it. Thank you for posting about it, though. It helps me to remember that there are Christians that are more open-minded.

Don't think that it's presumptuous for you to post after only a week or so of being here, though! This is what this site is for, and I wish I started posting earlier than I did. It's great to have people that post on here. Welcome to Oasis!