Someone Please Help!!!!

jester1985's picture

Is there anyone out the who can help me?
Well here is how it is.......
I have no decent friends... They use me, steal off me, talk about me behind my back
I never give them reasons to do these things.....I still help them because i have gone without a lot in life to sit there and see friends go with out (it came to the point of "lending" them $600 in one hit)
Every b/f has either cheated on me, bashed me, used me etc.
I'm not trully happy......
My job fell through because of them coming to my work asking for money....about three times a week.

And it's not the first time it has happened!!!!
I fear being alone both personally and emotionally so much that i put up with it for so long.

now this brings me to present.....

I have no job, Because i have no job i have no money and that means no friends. I ended up in hospital because of all the anguish, it is just a constant circle that i feel is really starting to get to me....

I've tried everything......
Ive moved and moved and moved and moved and moved and moved and moved and moved !
I tried new friends....... ive tried even being superficial to pick a good one (b/f)
But it just comes back and hits me!!!

I feel literally weak both physically and emotionally......
I even tried talking to a "friend" but they were "to busy to be listening to that childish crap"

Someone please help!!!!!

Shihaisha's picture

Wow, it sounds like you've ha

Wow, it sounds like you've had it pretty rough. Calm down for a minute. I know it seems like everything is going wrong and maybe that life isn't worth living, but that's simply not true. Maybe all of your "friends" have been screwing you over. First off, you need to make new ones. And this time, don't use the same judgment you've been using on all the friends that don't seem to care about you. Maybe try to find someone who's honest and open. Sometimes you can find wonderful friends in the quiet people that most people don't notice. Go slowly. Don't make yourself overly vulnerable. Be honest, and ask for honesty in return. Maybe you should try seeing a counselor- God knows it's helped me.
Oh, and don't lend money like that. It's definitely a bad way to try to gain friendship, pure as your motives might have been. It blinds people around you to who you truly are; they begin looking at you the way someone looks at an ATM. Occasionally, once you're -extremely- close to someone, it might be appropriate to lend $600, but certainly not large sums of money all the time. What you should do when friends need money is help them manage their money better- or get a job. The whole "give a man a fish and you feed him for a day, teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime" thing. You give people too many fish, and that's all they'll think of when they think of you.
And remember- you may find someone that seems like a good friend but that does something that is hurtful to you. Whoever he or she is, s/he is probably really a good friend. Everyone makes mistakes. Be careful not to require someone to be perfect, but also remember also not to let your friends walk all over you.
Sometimes, all it takes to make a friend is to smile and start a conversation- and then be open about how you're feeling. Most of the time, your new friend will feel more comfortable once you've gone the extra mile, and once that happens, s/he will usually tell you more about him/herself.
Good luck.

Paladin's picture

To put it bluntly

1. Things can only get better from here.

2. Get a job. Maybe you should do something a little more basic for a while, e.g. waiting tables at a cafe.

3. A lot of people, myself included, don't particularly care to hear others go on and on about how their life sucks. Hearing people say that makes one more inclined to develop the same melancholy temperament. Sure, say something about you're feeling a little down once, but don't harp on it unless you're invited to. Change your attitude to life, and life will change accordingly. This may or may not be relevant to you, but it sounds relevant.

4. Be more selfish. There is discontinuity between what you want and deserve (self respect), and what you ask of others. You can't put up with what you've been putting up with, but it doesn't sound like you have been making that clear. Lending away money like that is a good example. It doesn't help that since your feeling alone now, you want to be more willing to socialise with others, but I guess you'll just have to hang in there.

Dave

jester1985's picture

Well i have to say thankyou f

Well i have to say thankyou for your comment. I think you may have got the wrong impression. I needed advise more than iterating how much my life sucks.....i know it does'nt! I just felt that i needed advise because of the constant racking of my brain has come to no clause. Well over the weekend i have thought with angst to as where or what i should say to everyone without sounding too selfish.....i stated what my problems were, and how the constant barage of stress accumulating is literally making me sick with hurt.....

They (most) did'nt like what i have to say and are'nt talking to me but youre better off having one true friend than one hundred assholes!

So once agin i thankyou for your concern and your comments! (they have helped!!)

Take Care
Jamie

"A friend is someone who knows your past....Believes in your future....And accepts you today the way you are!"

Sirens call's picture

Love yourself

People can only respect you if you respect yourself first...

It might take a while for you to get your self esteem back, but when you do, you can start standing up for yourself...people will start liking you for who you are as a person, and not because of the fact that you can lend them money. Good luck, xox

kryingangel's picture

Someone please help!

I know exactly how you feel, i am basically in the same situation right now, but i think that i am gonna have a baby on the way right now, it sux, but just keep your head up, things will get better! If you want to email me at kryingangela@yahoo.com