101 Ways to Keep Your Virginity

Barralai's picture

Okay, here is the deal, post a way to keep your virginity (stories are welcome), please one way per post easier to count, once we have 101 reasons, i will publish it on my website (its currently not up, but getting their....), this will take time, please feel free to post more than one (in separate posts).
Stories w/ morals about virginity welcome, please be sure to include a way..., so it doesnt get confusing. Well i will start us off...
-When he/she/them says "Hey wanna go back to my place for some fun", simply reply No.

Barralai's picture

.....

-Dont get into the Buick.

Barralai's picture

.....

-Remember the safe word. (IF you dont get it, than its a good thing you dont).

Jazzer's picture

...

Don't go outside.

Some people's kids...I tell ya!

kryingangel's picture

Don't go outside

Just because you don't go outside, doesn't mean that you can stay a virgin. look at those people who get raped inside their house everyday!

polybigirl's picture

Learn to Mig Weld and use you

Learn to Mig Weld and use your new found expertise to permanantly weld your underwear on.

Children of a future age reading this indignant page know that in a former time love sweet love was thought a crime

- William Blake

polybigirl's picture

Watch Japenease pornography w

Watch Japenease pornography with your partner - the kind that involves vomit and excrement - and casually mention you'd really like to try that.
Footnote: Make sure your partner isn't Japenease.

Children of a future age reading this indignant page know that in a former time love sweet love was thought a crime

- William Blake

MajorMadness's picture

Damn

Oh sweet Jesus the images!
>.<

screv's picture

!!!!

dude, thats just wrong!

polybigirl's picture

Become an artist. When your

Become an artist. When your partner comes slinking in naked tell them they look beautiful. Simply beautiful. And could they hold that pose for four hours while you paint them?

Children of a future age reading this indignant page know that in a former time love sweet love was thought a crime

- William Blake

polybigirl's picture

Become a psychopath. Use the

Become a psychopath. Use the bodies of everybody you kill (in a variety of interesting and sadistic ways) to decorate your house and always invite partners back to your place.

Children of a future age reading this indignant page know that in a former time love sweet love was thought a crime

- William Blake

polybigirl's picture

Develop a phobia of genitals.

Develop a phobia of genitals. Whenever you see one stand on a chair screaming until it goes away.

Children of a future age reading this indignant page know that in a former time love sweet love was thought a crime

- William Blake

Army_your_green's picture

Actually i happen to know a g

Actually i happen to know a girl who does have a penis phobia, but that sure as hell hasn't stopped her from having sex.

~If we were all the same, life would be boring

polybigirl's picture

Change your name to Mary. Wh

Change your name to Mary. Whenever someone offers to make you pregnant say you're sorry but you're waiting for the Holy Spirit to do it.

Children of a future age reading this indignant page know that in a former time love sweet love was thought a crime

- William Blake

jeff's picture

Since "gay virginity" is self

Since "gay virginity" is self-defined, just define it so rigidly and with so many caveats that you can basiclaly do anything and remain a virgin.

adrian's picture

it's not losing your virginity

until you douched before with sherry and had at least 3 penises inside you at the same time.

---
Adrian
Putting the HEAD back into Hedonism

It's cute how you believe in things. - Slither

suffragettecity's picture

four ways:

1. Wear a chastity ring and tell people you're saving yourself for the right person. With that ring around your finger, whatever you do is just "playing around."

2. By the standards of many younguns today, blowjobs and handjobs aren't sex - just remember that at all times

3. Reinterpret virginity as referring to the puncturing of the hymen during consensual intercourse. As a male, you don't have a hymen, and will thus always be a virgin.

4. Stop bathing, brush your teeth with garlic, and talk with a really loud and annoying voice - that way, you won't have to say no.

"Sometimes a little brain damage helps."
-- George Carlin

Fan001's picture

For the girls

For the girls....

You can have your Vir!@%a woven closed with a well secured pipe for urination.

PS:Free ain't free until you free from fear.

Fan001's picture

Become a monk or nun

Become a monk or nun at a very very early age, preferably at birth, much safer, and stick to the laws

PS:Free ain't free until you free from fear.

Fan001's picture

Infected

Give some grusom story that you genitals are wounded, infected. Try to carry some fungus photo around as proof.

PS:Free ain't free until you free from fear.

Fan001's picture

For the guys

Well you can always say that you penis is 1mm long. That should chase them very far away.

NB: Make sure they aren't drunk though, you still might end up in bed

PS:Free ain't free until you free from fear.

Fan001's picture

Very Religious

Make up your own religion that is totally against sex. Carry some selve made flyers and hand them out to the jerks. Make sure the flyers state all the grusom/shitty stuff about sex.

PS:Free ain't free until you free from fear.

Fan001's picture

Dildo

Carry a dildo, if they want sex, give them the dildo.

If you have control over the mind you could perhaps join in.

For those that are weak in the mind, please don't try this option.

PS:Free ain't free until you free from fear.

adrian's picture

whenever you get in one of those situations...

start scratching your crotch and complain about unbearable itching. Ask if they can take a look.

---
Adrian
Putting the HEAD back into Hedonism

It's cute how you believe in things. - Slither

Aedyn's picture

If they ask you to come upsta

If they ask you to come upstairs, tell them your mommy told you not to visit the houses of strangers.

If they ask, "Wanna go have some fun?" Bring out your favorite barbie doll and ask they'd mind a friend coming over.

If someone seems interested, pick up your cell phone and speak rather loudly. "Oh, hey. What!? Is there a discharge? Well, I didn't give you anything!"

You can never beat time, but you can sure put up a hell of a fight.

Dan84's picture

...

Say you made a commitment that you will stay a virgin until you're married... "in a very real, and legally binding sense". Please note that this will not work in The Netherlands, Belgium, or (hopefully) Canada come June.

wicked_torture's picture

Say you work at planned paren

Say you work at planned parenthood and they give you rape tests everyday to make sure their employees arn't pregnate or have had sex.
Taste the rainbow!

Call_meh_Megz's picture

A reason

Say you have a disease that makes their penis fall off after having sex.

Jopurdy's picture

Hmm. One time I told my boyfr

Hmm. One time I told my boyfriend that I was a hemaphrodite just to see what his reaction was...of course I told him I was kidding after about an hour or so of doing a really good job convincing him. But it was really pretty funny. He didn't try to finger me for weeks....I really, seriously scared the shit out of him. Hilarious stuff.

If it's a sin to love you
Then in hell i'd rather be
Opposed to living a life with people
In heaven looking down on me

l48765's picture

Move to a hick town where no

Move to a hick town where no (attractive) gay people exist

~joe

kryingangel's picture

Move to a hick town

That is where most of the attractive gay people live, is in the hick towns, because nobody bugs them there. trust me, i lived in a hick town for a long time, and basically all that those people do, is take drugs, and have sex!

Jopurdy's picture

I agree... take it from someo

I agree... take it from someone who lives in a hick town now. The few gay/bi/les peeps who do live here for the most part are very attractive. They generally have to be at least semi attractive in order to have the courage to come out of the closet to begin with in a scary place like this. That way you don't have to hear the same old worn out "all dykes are fat and ugly, and the only reason they turned to women was because no man would have them."

If it's a sin to love you
Then in hell i'd rather be
Opposed to living a life with people
In heaven looking down on me

l48765's picture

Sorry, but of the 7 gay peopl

Sorry, but of the 7 gay people i know, most of the guys are pretty ugly (and do drugs) >_< and it was a joke. My lesbian friends are thin, smart and really pretty.

~joe

kryingangel's picture

Tell them that you don't work

Tell them that you don't work well with small things!

screv's picture

say thanks, hold that thaught

say thanks, hold that thaught, ime getting the operation next week

Daisy's picture

Adopt the belief that virgini

Adopt the belief that virginity is restored every month by the rising of the full moon.

"When that sonuvabitch puts his hands on her, you should tell yourself he's putting his hands all over you"