"Balanced lifestyle"

Paladin's picture

Over the past few weeks/months, my dad's been slipping strange new phrases into our conversations. "Balanced lifestyle" is an example of this. I thought he was just pointing out some obvious things, like working hard and playing hard at first, but gradually I began to get a feeling that it was a euphemism for heterosexual lifestyle. Rather ironic considering that Kinsey-scale-4-bisexuality would seem to be more balanced than heterosexuality or homosexuality.

Then, while being driven back from dinner with my parents, we talked (what he said in italics)
What do you think the point of life? What do you think is worthwhile doing?.
At the moment I am focussed on doing well on exams and going to university. ((Were I being truthful, I would have said that at the moment, it is to find emotional fulfillment in another guy.)
It seems like you're getting all stressed at school.
This might be true. You need to lead a "balanced lifestyle".
It is meaningless to talk about a balanced lifestyle, because one could intepret it to mean being drunk half the time and sober the other half, and call that a "balanced lifestyle". (This got him a little frustrated, maybe because I was pre-empting his planned conclusion or hidden message.)
That's ridiculous. What I mean is you seem rather stressed. You need to figure out a way to deal with your problems.
And what sort of problems do I have exactly?
Well when you go for counselling, it suggests that you have a problem.
I did have a problem. I went for counselling. I did what was needed. It's not my problem anymore. In fact, it's strange you should say that Because when I dealt with the problem you were acting like your world had ended, and yet you didn't agree that counselling I recommended would do you help.
(Here I'm referring to when I got my teachers to come home and talk some sense into them).
Ok then. If you don't have a problem then why are you so stressed?
Partly because I've been forced to make unreasonable promises.
What unreasonable promises?
The promises you people made me make.
What promises did we force you to make?
Oh, so I can tell others then?
(There was a pause, as the horrofying thought crossed their minds)
You have to tell everyone?! Go and get fucked then!
Oh, shut up!
(My mum interrupted and recommended she take over driving from my dad for the sake of our safety. I agreed, as his voice had gone noticably different. But my dad refused and we kept on going, in silence.)

Well that's one demon down - "balanced lifestyle". Just a hundred thousand more euphemisms of similar venom and I'll have an accepting dad in no time (sarcasm). Maybe my mum will truly accept me one day. And to think, I was dreaming about getting to know a guy in uni and bringing him back to see my parents.


ledworldnuke's picture


It doesnt really matter how many battles you win or lose with your father because in the end he is still your father. He is a parent, he loves you, and in a crude and possibly pushy way he IS trying. The fact that he didn't just come out and say what he really meant with "balanced lifestyle" shows that he accepts you for who you are and the dessicions you make even if he would rather have you make different ones.

"You want us to do WHAT?!?!"
~Chinese wall constructors

Aedyn's picture

It must be hard to keep stron

It must be hard to keep strong with something like this. But in a way, I think he's trying to understand what's going on in your life. There seems to be a lot of unspoken tension, which can be expected even though it shouldn't. What I gather though, is that he has a genuine concern for you, but isn't sure how to express it. All you can do is show him that this is who you are and hope that one day he will be strong enough to accept it.

You can never beat time, but you can sure put up a hell of a fight.