My Coming Out Story : Part one

sillylove's picture

It all started when i was in grade 9.Well i wasnt very happy about myself
and i thought why am i SOOO attracted to guys?THats when i started getting
depressed and started to force myself to "like" girls...that didnt work.
I had crushes on so many guys i cant even count them on 4 pairs of hands.
The next year in 2004 i actually decided that i liked what i was and who
i was.I liked the gay vibe.And i started liking myself a bit.I decide i
was so happy that i would do something crazy.I was extremely introverted
at the time and i said to myself.Why dont i start DRama!!And thats when
everything changed.My drama teacher was directing a play and i got a small
part in it.Initially it wasnt even a speaking part but then someone dropped
out of the play and then there was some shifting of characters and swapping
of parts and i took a different role.Ironically the characters name was Robin(which
is my real name) so it was like fate or something.The person who had
initially got the part that i now had was a gorgeous guy named "A".
At this stage of course nobody knew i was gay.But i was really attracted
to him.So much that when he missed a rehearsal i dindt feel up to rehearsing
Later i found out that he had a boyfriend which was a bummer...at first.
At least I had FINALLY met another GAY person.I was really exited that we
immediatley started a really great conversation about being gay.He still
didnt know i was gay though.So at the end of this reahersal i told him.
I told him i was gay!And he suddnely told me that he had had his eye on me
for a long time and he said that,before i told him,he secretley wished i was
gay.Then things started to progress.We started flirting,kissing,hugging
.We went out twice.We held hands in the movies.I thought it was SOOO romantic
We still remain in contact but we are no longer together in that way.

During my relationship with A.I told two of my ex best friends that i was
gay.They were really ok with it and i was so overjoyed that we could talk s
somewhat freely about it.But then the gay jokes started getting out of hand.
They assumed i was no longer a virgin because of my previous relationship
with A.So i left them and found some GREAT new friends who just make you
smile!

During last year 2004 i had began to forge a very deep friendship with a
girl, lets call her K. Shes the arty type like me.Shes small,petite like me.
And she thinks the same way i do although she can be stubborn sometimes.lol.
Anyway towards my 16 th birthday i wondered wether i should tell her or not
And so first i tried to get her view on as many gay issues possible and
the way that turned out was not so good.She still did not lnwo.So i
decided to tell another of my not so close girl friends, M.Just for the
thrill of it.It took me a whole day to realise i wasnt meant to tell her
and that maybe i should just tell K(my best friend) after all.
So i did.And she was such an angel.The way she reacted was absolutely great.

And thats pretty much how the year ended.

Up until now only four people knew about me being gay,not including people
on the net.And i was beginning to grow anxious to tell my guy friends whom i
had met.

2005 dawned and i had grown depressed again.Despite having come out
to a few people.So i decided to tell one of my best guy friends D, about me.
And he was great.He still acts the same way around me and i appreciate that.
So of cousre having once again gone through the thrill of telling another guy
i decided to come out to yet another of my guy friends about five days ago!
"C", which i will call him,wa the also calm and didnt say much he was fine
about it.He was really understanding.So that is what has happened up until
now and stay tuned for part two you beatifull people!

-sillylove-

Comments

sillylove's picture

Oh yes.

My parents dont know but they will soon.i promise to update this in part two
-luv-
-sillylove aka robin-

"All you need is love..."- It lifts you up and then throws you down like a rock on cement floor....