My friends are being stupid!

Jopurdy's picture

Recently I've been becoming increasingly more aware of how many of my bisexual friends are acting--different. I don't know if I mean that in a bad way or a good way, i mean, they are my friends, but it's kinda creepy. I mean, i'm seriously beginning to wonder if it's not just me. I have known many of them for years, since junior high even and they just aren't being themselves. I'm used to them being real about who they are, and I mean, that is supposed to be the hardest part. Admitting who you are to yourself and everyone else, but now suddenly so many of them are refusing to acknowledge the fact that they like girls'. I mean, they still say they do, but i only have like one friend that is dating a girl right now. I mean, not like there is anything wrong with dating guys, but i mean, i go to a private, homophobic school, so generally all of their boyfriends are that way too. I guess that's probably what bothers me. The fact that their changing to suit their boyfriends. I mean, one of my friends even told me that her boyfriend told her that he was "embarassed" by the fact that she used to date girl's before she dated him. As if that's so bad that she had a girlfriend or something. But it's just uncomfortable to be around most of them. They are acting like straight girls' which just is not cool. I hate the fact that it's so convenient to just date a boy when your bi. That's great and everything if your happy, but the thing is, your not necessarily happy. Great, you can be attracted to them, but something is missing! They don't accept you for who you are! You don't even accept you for who you are anymore! You're not happy in the relationship, and your not happy with yourself! Of course I haven't told them any of this. They are convinced that everything is fine.

Comments

CutE_Without_The_E's picture

Maybe

Maybe you should go ahead and share your feelings..then see what they say. Some people just prefer boys over girls at some points in there lives, and vice versa other times. In the end if they are not happy they will realize they aren't and it may take time but will eventually move on.However either way if their so-called "boyfriends" can't accept them for who they are , I agree with you , they should not be there. Be a friend and support them while they make their decisions...just my advice .

<3

miss chloe's picture

I just have to say, as someon

I just have to say, as someone who is bi, that the comment about you hating that it is so convenient to date a boy really bothers me. It's really not that convenient. Being bi is one of the hardest things to be. Not only do you have to deal with the homophobic people because you like the same sex, you have to deal with gay people not supporting you because you also like the opposite sex. There is nothing convenient about being bi. I mean, a lesbian can pretend to ignore who they are and date a guy. Am I supposed to now identify as a lesbian because I'm dating a woman and ignore that I like guys?

Sorry if this seems bitchy...that comment just didn't sit well with me.

I do agree that it is not right to ignore who you are or change yourself because of who you are seeing. But you also have to realize that dating a boy doesn't mean you are ignoring who you are.

I agree with the other comment...regardless of whta is going on, you need to support your friends in whatever they are going through.

Miss Chloe

Jopurdy's picture

Okay, I see where your coming

Okay, I see where your coming from, that's totally true. I know, you get flak from everyone when your bi, but my point was, and maybe I wasn't clear enough when I said this, that it's easy to just hook up with a guy and pretend that you only like guys, at least when you are with a guy. My entire point was I don't think it's right to deny who you are if you are bi whether you are with a guy or not, but that's just me.

If it's a sin to love you
Then in hell i'd rather be
Opposed to living a life with people
In heaven looking down on me