Proverbial Boiling Point...Back up...

Spirit1313's picture

Screaming "no" never makes it right. No matter how loud. Or how often. Or how much emotion is put into it. It never makes everything go away. Everything stays the same or continues to change making the loss feel worse and worse. And what should make it right? Saying "no", gets nowhere. No one listens.

Why are things happening this way? Wasn't I stronger than that? Couldn't I make a better decision? Didn't I have the will to walk away and just keep walking? Why do I always go back? Doesn't my trust and my feelings count for something????? Where is my heart? How many more times will it break?

Every time I get lost, you're right there pointing out the right direction. But, how do I know that its the right direction? You never let me think about it first. I've always been walking the wrong way and it's because of you. Your hand led me there. Take me back! Take it all back! Let me think it through on my own. How do you know whats best for me? If you know, how come I don't? What gives you the god damn right to make my decisions for me?? Who said you could force me to live like this? Fuck you! Take it back! Please take it all back....

Crying, pleading, it got as far as bleeding and yet you still stood there claiming you knew what's best. You were blind. Empty and blind. And you made me feel worthless until I was numb. I didn't feel. I couldn't feel. I became blind to you. And now look where I am? Back off. I can do this all on my own. Always have been able to. Nothing will change that now or ever. LEAVE ME ALONE!