So yeah, what stupid thing have you done today?

Brosia's picture

Guess what kids? Brosia is a very stupid girl. Do you know why? Because she slept with her ex. You know, that one she swore she was done with? The one she's spent the past year trying to get over? Yeah, that one. Should you see her, please smack her. Hard.

Ok, so here's how it went. We were hanging out with a friend of ours. Now, this friend has a serious thing for her. So they were on one end of the couch flirting and being generally vomit-inducing. I just sat there and talked to his roommate. There's nothing like bitching with a fellow homo. Anyway, the roommate had to leave. I watched TV while they necked. Then our friend had to leave for a little while.

Maybe it was because he'd gotten her all hormonal. Maybe it was the fact that our old song came on. Who knows. But suddenly, this girl who refused to touch me for the past several months was in my lap. She pulled her lotion out of her purse and put some on. That lotion means one thing to my poor brain. It means that someone's getting lucky tonight. And someone did.

We didn't really say anything, which was weird. Not at all how it used to be. And while it was so nice to hold her in my arms again, it wasn't the magical experience I used to treasure so much. Or maybe I just remember it as being better than it actually was.

Our friend came back. And what did she do? She spent the rest of the evening clinging to the boy. She'd cast me a look or two in private, but as soon as someone was around I ceased to exist. I felt like shit, to say the least.

The funny thing is, I think the whole experience has helped me. Why? Because I don't long for her anymore. She completely pissed me off. I don't need someone who treats me like that. She's still my friend. I can't ever see throwing away this 9 year friendship of ours. I just don't want to sleep with her anymore. So I guess as stupid as it was to do, it helped me in the long run.

I don't really know what I'm trying to say here. This is why I shouldn't write when I'm tired.

Comments

skip's picture

Some things ...

...you can learn from others, and benefit from their experience -
Other things we have to learn ourselves.

noangel6301's picture

Road often taken

Sometimes you have to go through it all again to gain full focus. So yeah even though it hurt, its a good thing you relapse so now you know that you are finally able to move on and stop thinking about her. Although i am a little confused about how you could still be friends with her but that is your decision. Good luck with it.

La Jo 9430's picture

Oh man, that must have been s

Oh man, that must have been so hard, dealing with the way she treated you. I'm so sorry. Talk about bittersweet. I mean, I'm glad you can find the silver lining in that you feel more over her but still, that sucks. *sends empathy waves* If you wanna talk, you know where to reach me.