What do you do when life crumbles....

Fan001's picture

Somebody please help here.

What would you do if life crumbled at your feet?
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Everything you touch becomes ash.
You try and try but to no avail
You desire to do all that is right
but inturn all you get is pain
Pain day in day out..........
Sleep is not sleep anymore
Arising everyday with anger

Nothing seems to work....
Whether you happy or sad it's all the same
A life that feels like it's goin all down.

How do I get myself out of this?
I've had enough, and can't take any more.
Heart palpitations had me captive last night.
Excruciating pain...

What is happening to me...
Why.....

I am moving into my shell...
And once I am complete inside
there ain't a damn thing you can do to get me out.

I do not want to be there....
Introversion? Not my style.
So what then

Someone advise me.

Paladin's picture

To be blunt

You're being very lyrical, but not actually telling us what troubles you specifically. Maybe you're holding something back (which is understandable), maybe you don't know what it is yourself. We can't help you much if it's beacause there's more to it then you're letting on. If you don't know what it is that's troubling you, then I guess you need to do some thinking.

Maybe you should just do what's always been proven to make you feel good (alcohol, smoking and drugs are not what I'm referring to), like going for a walk, or reading. Maybe you need to just go out and hang out with some friends a bit more.

Dave

Fan001's picture

Broaden your horizon

Hey thanx for the comment.

But I am referring to stuff in general. It is not a specific area or thing but everything. Everything in my life seems to be falling apart and all I can do at this point is watch it fall. It is like trying to hold a wall that is about to fall. Remember holding the wall is painfull and that does not solve the initial problem. So you tell me now how you can eliminate a problem like that. There might be a way to solve the problem, but from my end I have no more options. Every wall in my life is falling and I am losing strength trying to keep them all up. If I let go, I am as good as dead. I have tried transfering the weight by getting help from my helpers (friends, family etc) but none seem to work. No one wants to hang on to long or like others; they see the problem and run.

I it kinda like losing yourself, where you yourself don't know who you are or where you going. I actually feel like giving up everything. All this was for the past 19 years, so tell me how much years can I still pack on.

Imagine you are on a hit list, and the person aimed at killing you makes you suffer. He breaks limb by limb, rips vein by vein etc. (Figarative) Picture the statement to the above story....

If you know what I am trying to say you might understand my pain. It is not specific but general.

PS:Free ain't free until you free from fear.

Paladin's picture

So why are things in your lif

So why are things in your life falling apart? If it's just your outlook on life, then you need to ask what is it that makes your outlook so pessimistic. If it's the events in your life at the moment, then it would seem that you're really going through a particularly unlucky point at the moment.

I get the impression that more than anything else, it is your outlook in life which is bringing you down. Maybe you're overlooking the good things that are happening, and only focussing on the bad. The best way to battle that is just to think of something good that's happening in your life, or that's going to happen in your life. Every day, think of something else that's good and write it down, maybe in a book. If none of that works, then I can only recommend you get therapy or something. Or maybe there's something better that I've missed out; I don't know since I've never really been in your situation.

Good luck
Dave

tarni's picture

Maybe if every wall is crumbl

Maybe if every wall is crumbling, you need to move to a new building? I know having your life fall down around is no joke, seriously, but perhaps 'getting yourself a new life', not to sound cruel, would help. I mean, for example, if you're in college and the course sucks, you have no friends, your teachers hate you etc, then perhaps moving colleges would be an idea. Sometimes getting a whole new perspective can help.
Also, I don't know how much this applies to you, and if it doesn't help, then.. well, just read and see, I guess. I think that looking at things in the best way you can helps a great deal. I can see now that you're looking at the dark painful things, just from the way you wrote that, but perhaps you should just try to creep out of that habit? See a sunrise, go for a walk in the freezing cold morning and let the air wake you up. Go to a movie. Invite a close friend over just for a fun night, where neither of you are focusing on the bad things, but just relax. Have a massage. I find the little things help most, and when you've calmed down and hopefully got a better view of everything, you can see the right choices to make.
Hey, I know it's bloody hard, and I know it seems impossible right now, but you've got a nice writing style. (On that note, maybe enter a piece into a writing comp?) From the looks of it you seem to be the kind of person who can tough this out.
And hey? Good luck.

Tarni.

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"People who take you at face value will always be your true friends. Truth + laughter = good friendships."
--milly the fairy

Fan001's picture

Thanx

Thanx Tarni

I guess that is my only option left. Well now I will need to find my new bldgs. Well I think it boils down to believing no matter what and in some cases we just need to do new things. As you said if it is not for us, try something else.

I will re-think my situation and try new options. And oh what the hec if the walls start crumbling down. So, maybe one or two I will need to build stronger.

Thanx sweetie

PS:Free ain't free until you free from fear.

s2xtreme4u's picture

life crumbling

nice poem , i love it ,, when life crumbles i turn to my music.