Today was embarassing/deppresing for me. Our school has days where a random speaker will come and talk to us about a major issue and then
the high school debates and talks about it. So The bell rang and we were
all leaving when my teacher grabs me by the shoulder and makes me
hang back. Apparantly they didn't want me to go to this one.. I didn;t
know why.. i thought i might have been in trouble.. and they never told
me.. so i waiting in class.. and just wrote a bit.. read a book.. Then
lunch came and everyone at the meeting got to go out to eat where as i had
to eat from the cafeteria.. all alone.
Its really wierd to sit in a cafeteria when its completely empty.. i mean..
the thing can hold 400 kids and i had it all to myself. One of teachers
came and sat with me at one point (he had to stay and watch me so i wouldnt
get in trouble..) and i asked him why they didn't want me to go.. He was
quiet for a while.. then tld me that todays debate thing was about keeping
homosexuals out of the churches in this area.. Heh.. I dont think I've ever
felt more alone than right there in that moment.. It was one of those wierd
cold feelings that seep down into your spine and makes you want to cry but
your too numb to even move..
Mr. Dune (the teacher) decided since no one else was around that i could
drive into town and get a movie.. I never really got that far.. i Just went
out to my car and waiting in the cold (its was snowing) and thought about
a few things..
I dont think i'm going to school tommorow.. i dont want to hear everyone
talking about it.. i dont want people to start making fun of me again..
I dont want to fight anyone anymore.. I'm sick of being the only one in
the school who feels this way.. i'm just sick of it..
hope everyone else had a good day