At What Age Did You Discover Your Sexuality?

xxxangelxxx's picture

Hey Everyone.
I just wondered if any of you would share the age at which you discovered your sexuality, was it something you knew all along from a fairly young age or were you into adulthood before you really began questioning it?

Paladin's picture

That's a tough one for me

I don't remember ever really having any great epiphany or realisation, just a gradual shift in my focus from girls to guys. I also think it was just me realising that relationships are good not just because you can talk to your friends about them (I was much younger at the time). So I would say that I did when I was thirteen, which was when I realised that naked guys turn me on.


sportytatu's picture

i was 7 when i first found ou

i was 7 when i first found out.

people say love is blind, then isnt it blind for gender as well?

id walk through hell in a gasoline suite to keep playing softball.

hippiedyke87's picture

Hmm...thats a tough one. I g

Hmm...thats a tough one. I guess I kinda always knew just didn't realize that it was different or that it had a name. I put a name(bisexual) to it at 13 then altered it(lesbian) when I was 16. Though it has taken even longer to accept being a lesbian.
Peace out.

~Well behaved women rarely make history.~

taste the rainbow's picture


Well, I don't know how long I've been like this, the earliest crush I had on a girl was in Kindergarden, but I never took that seriously. The longest relation ship I've had with a boy is 2 and a half weeks. Now, after a couple of those I began to ask my self why is this happening, and then it hit me. How old was I/am I - 15, but I'll be 16 soon!

miss chloe's picture


I questioned in highschool, but no one caught my interest, so I assumed I was straight. I again questioned when I arrive to college, but no one caught my interest. And the fact that I still liked boys was enogh to convince me I wasn't. But when I met my honey, I found myself wanting to kiss her. All that jazz. She was the one to make me realize I did have attraction to women, and I must be bi.

Miss Chlose

Happyperson01's picture


I always knew I was gay, but I came out to myself at twelve.

Anonymous's picture

When two of my friends came o

When two of my friends came out to me in 8th grade I started questioning. I was 13.

** IMRU? **

_hiro_'s picture

Between 12 and 14 I guess...

...though when I look back, it’s always been a bit of a blur. I remember in elementary and early middle school I had crushes on boys my age, but I also had weird giddy feelings for some of my older brothers’ female friends. I could never quite put my finger on it, and I didn’t even know what gay meant until 2nd or 3rd grade. Even then I thought it was sort of weird or gross, so I wrote my love for girls off as a sort of an admiration for a long time. I think I started really ‘questioning’ or whatever in 6th or 7th grade, then finally in 8th grade I gave up denying it when I fell for the captain of my soccer team. She was too damn hot.

No_Life_Mere's picture

It took awhile...

I think I was 14 when I started having explicit sex dreams about women. At first it freaked me out because I'd always assumed I was straight and I definitely have an attraction to men. Then when I was 15 I met Sarah and was so attracted to her I nearly exploded everytime she looked at me; soon after this I realized I am most definitely bi.

Tjedza's picture

2004 baby

damn, i'm turning 18 this year and i still aint quite sure what i am/ want to be...

i do know for a fact that i am attracted to women...;)
i've felt the attraction towards women ever since i was possibly 11- ( i remember i used to sneak a peak at some mild sex scenes on tv and it was always the chick that intrigued me more... i always felt a certain thrill at seeing boobies, even if it was in a locker room with my friends , i always had a slight thrill that made me uncomfortable in the past when i genuinely didnt know what it was or where it came from.)
- i only realised that i wasnt completely heterosexual at all, at the end of last year.

"the source of our insecurity has likewise become our intelligence. we know, deep in our hearts that our lives are but a fantasy, bravado- method acting."

Army_your_green's picture

13 or 14

I remember being in the 8th grade, when all of the sudden it dawned on me, I am a lesbian. There wasn't a particular reason for it either. I hadn't fallen in love with someone or anything like that. I just knew. Then for about three years I was in quite a state of confusion. I began to accept myself as bisexual and came out to a few under that lable. But i have recently within the past year or so begun to identify as a lesbian, something I am still not entirely certain upon. Gosh why does this time have to be so damn confusing!

~If we were all the same, life would be boring

Andrewgirl3's picture


At 13. One day while I was out on a bike ride i realized i had this huge crush on my friend (a girl). I'm not sure whether im bisexual or gay... still figuring that out

"Always do right. That will gratify some of the people, and astonish the rest."

CKWhatever's picture

May 9, 1997...

Was the exact day I realized I liked guys, at age 16 and a couple months. It was just a strange sort of epiphany - I spent hours looking up sites on gay/bi youth, etc. on the internet - for some reason I couldn't start to explain - and when I finally went to bed I knew I was bi.

Looking back, though, I realized I had been having feelings for other guys; I just hadn't understood why good-looking male classmates made me feel actually nervous.

Revan46's picture

When I was

I realized when i wuz 15 after i had some *cough* sexual contact with a guy...

Brandon098's picture


Well I would say I probably realized it in middle school but didn't admit it to myself until I was turning 20...

Agarwaen's picture

Around 13 or 14, maybe. Not s

Around 13 or 14, maybe. Not so long ago. And I'm still not exactly sure about anything, either.

"What does an eternity of damnation matter to one who has experienced for one moment the infinity of delight?" - Baudelaire

dazed and confused's picture

I think the thought that I mi

I think the thought that I might be something other than straight crossed my mind as early as middle school...which would be 13/14...but I never seriously questioned my sexuality until the later years of high school (17/18). I think you could say that I came out to myself when I was 18. I definitely am not one of the people who has known since kindergarden or some young age that I'm gay. What sparked my questioning and eventual coming out was that I hit they typical dating age...and when I tried dating a guy it so didn't work. :-P


"The hardest thing in this world is to live in it. Be brave, live."

Daisy's picture

Well, in reterospect, I reali

Well, in reterospect, I realize I've been having crushes on basically everybody my whole life. But I started seriously wondering if I liked girls at age 11... A few years later I developed a HUGE crush on one of my best friends, and came out as bisexual when I was 14.

"When that sonuvabitch puts his hands on her, you should tell yourself he's putting his hands all over you"

Barralai's picture

12? Maybe 13. I kept repeati

12? Maybe 13.
I kept repeating the whole "Denile" thing, man thats a bitch!
Why the hell do people even bother with signatures, its a waste of time, I mean come on. By time you finsihed telling someonething, or quoting some dead guy, what have you accomplished? Nothing, except wasting a few minutes of the that persons life

kari's picture

My first girl crush was in pr

My first girl crush was in pre-school but I finally figured that I really did liked them girls around 8 or 9.

bibibutterfly's picture

I was 14 when I began to seri

I was 14 when I began to seriously question my sexuality, but when I was 12 of 13 I had repeated dreams about kissing girls, in which I was either a guy kissing a girl (mega weird) or a girl kissing a girl. Looking back, however, I realize that there have been signs throughout my life that I am not straight. When I was in elementary school I used to look at Victoria's Secret catalogues. I told myself that I just wanted to see the pretty bras so I knew which ones I would want when I needed one. lol. I also always wanted to be the guy when I was playing let's pretend with my friends. Things are still a bit confusing, but I am almost posotive that I am bi.


stewie's picture

i have no idea why it happend

i have no idea why it happend but it did. i was 8 years old and i was in my uncles room. he had a huge stash of porno mags in his
bedside i looked through them..i have never been sooooo
freakin sexually excited in my entire life!!!! i was sooo horny and i
did'nt even know it!!!! i had a lil boner going and i remember
feeling soo hot and focused!!! i simply could'nt get enough!!!

i also remember fantasizing about having sex with alot of my female
teachers. HOT!!!

i was molested when i was 10 by an older boy and ever since then
thought of being with guys, i was under the impression that everyone
else was just like me and that it was normal...

wee's picture


I sort of knew all my life just really relized it when I was 12


Whispering Rebel's picture

I was 10 when i started quest

I was 10 when i started questioning whether or not i was attracted to girls....but i was 13 when i told other people

No one in this world is stupid, the ones who appear to be have not risen to their intelligence yet.
People say they want everything but when you have eveything you have eveything to lose.
~LOVE and HATE are the QUESTIONS of LIFE!!!~

pixies_in_the_underworld's picture

I was twelve when I took noti

I was twelve when I took notice that I liked girls, and assumed, of course, that I was bi. Ha, ha. Beginning of freshman year I had an epiphany: I am not sexually attracted to guys, and really don't care for their genitalia. So at the tender age of fourteen I discovered I was a lesbian, and then a few weeks later made out with a girl in the bathroom at school, which confirmed it in my mind.
Strangely, we're really close friends now, and thinking about making out with her again makes me feel as if I'm betraying a small orphan child that's dying of cancer.

Aussie bookmaster's picture

i always knew i was different

i always knew i was different in like guys instead of chicks...
but i only knew the name for it around 10...
and i only identified myself as a gay male around the same time my bro asked me if i was gay...12

chevamartin's picture

I had my first crush on a gir

I had my first crush on a girl when i was 12, turning 13. I didnt really realize that I might actually only like girls until the beginning of eighth grade.. my mother still thinks i'm going through a stage.

wild-blue-yonder's picture

okay, so I'm a little slow...

It took me a while to recognize odd feelings as gay-ish-ness, but I finally figured out that there might be something different going on last year, when I was 14. Now that I think about it I can trace oddness back to when I was twelve or so. I just always took for granted that I'd be straight, and never considered other options. I think if I'd been more in-tune with myself I'd have realized earlier.'s picture

I only knew it when I met thi

I only knew it when I met this girl named sara. that was the end of the eighth grade, and I met her through some people when marching band first kicked off. Now I'm a sophomore and she's graduating this year... well I guess I was fourteen.
i cried in november

Christian's picture

15 I guess...


I dont think I can say I noticed any kind of transition, I had never felt atracted to girls. I can't say that I always knew I was gay either. For me sexuality is about who I want to feel close to sexually (trying not to sound too shallow). I never felt that untill I was about 15, and dont think I could say I was gay untill then.


Keep upto date with my daily life @

screv's picture

14 but i only acepted it about 5min ago

she holds the pen that spells the end

Barralai's picture

5 minutes ago?? No comment

5 minutes ago??

No comment further comments.
Why the hell do people even bother with signatures, its a waste of time, I mean come on. By time you finsihed telling someonething, or quoting some dead guy, what have you accomplished? Nothing, except wasting a few minutes of the that persons life

screv's picture

inever actualy told eny one befor

realy bout 7 months, but i never sed enything

she holds the pen that spells the end

justrunning13's picture


metalica is the greatest band in the world

tarni's picture

I was 15 when I feel in love

I was 15 when I feel in love with a girl. I still don't know if I'm bi or lesbian, but I've accepted that I like girls. It wasn't a gradual thing for me. I'd never felt attracted to anyone before that year, and the only person before then was a guy over the internet. I didn't like the idea of his body when I thought about it. It was all personality. Then I feel head-over-heels for this girl, and accepted myself soon after. I'd simply never considered being bi or lesbian before, because I didn't know about it.



"People who take you at face value will always be your true friends. Truth + laughter = good friendships."
--milly the fairy

Tieed's picture

Hmmm, i was 12 when i knew I

Hmmm, i was 12 when i knew I liked boys. I didn't know I was 'gay' because 'gay' wasn't something that existed in my life. I liked other boys and not girls, and I accepted that...until people found out lol When i was 13 ppl told me I was sinful and the whole shebang, so that's when I knew i was 'gay' or so the label said lol

ledworldnuke's picture

Re: finding out..

I dont know what you define really as finding your sexuality.. but i've only known i was attracted to guys for about.. a year, maybe less. I really didn't find out.. if anything i was kind of shown.

I guess it makes sense now, and i'm happy really.. (kinda strange..)

Moonblade's picture

Let's see...

Oh wow, let's see if I can remember when it was that I found out. The idea has been there for as long as I can remember but when I was little I didn't want to be different from my friends so I pushed it away. Not to mention the whole church thing since I had to go to that every Sunday and Wednesday with the addition of summer camp.

I first really looked at it when I realized I had a crush on one of my friends. A real crush, not the ones that I made up about this or that boy so that they'd all stop bothering me. And that was when I was fifteen or so, around three years ago.

Dark Angel's picture

Not long

it was just after i was 16, after i got a crush on a girl school,

dhruvdhody's picture

all my life.....

never thought about it when i was young but now when we look back its like i have known this all along. I remeber when i was very small some far-off related cousins of mine arrived and we had to share rooms, the moment he changed clothes and came into his shorts and no shirt on... i knew i am queer. Then for so long I donno who to talk to and being from india homosexuality is such a big taboo i just didnt knew what to do abaout it... much much later i came to knew hello its just not me there are so many ppl like me and i realized I am a part of a big gay community. I have know it all along that I am GAY.

Fairylover2008's picture

I thoiught

I would say 13 but if you have read my recent post
it seems I have not figured it out yet I am still
sorting thought some of the crap.

What you see's not what you get with you there's just
no measurement no way to tell what's real from what isn't
there your eyes they sparkled that's all changed into
lies that drop like acid rain Kelly Clarkson Gone

Dan84's picture


It was always there (I didn't turn gay overnight, of course!) But the first time I officially said to myself "Daniel, ya ain't straight" didn't happen until I was 19! Whoa!

morbid intentions 666's picture


i remembering saying i like some guy in 6th grade so people will leave me alone but i thought he was cute.......just wasnt attracted to him

in 8th grade......i realized i was thinking a lot about this girl named salina B. but i thought it was she's the only 1 who treated me like i was human...but on graduation day, she touched my shoulder & i felt estacy...

m i bi? o,0
"keep ur thorns,cuz m running away" -Mudvayne
"A powerful festering energy roots itself in this land and carves a crest of blood"bcuz humans r so very simple" -fullmetal alchemist(lust)

FlameFish08's picture

well, im 14 now and recently

well, im 14 now and recently came out to important people in my life...but i have known for a long time. not so much that i was gay, but just that i was different than other girls. i've knwon that i was different for probably my whole life, but it became evident in my early years of elememtary school. i'd say around 9 yrs old i started to have feelings for other girls.I seriously began to consider that i might be gay around that age, and i have pretty much known for atleast 2 years. so somewhere around 11 or 12.

poetry nymph's picture

born that way i know i

my mother always tells me that being gay isnt something your born with, its something you choose to be either consciously or subconsciously. that i know is wrong. i was born that way i know i was. i realized i was gay probably at thirteen or fourteen. at least i didn't acknowledge thats what it was until then. and when i did, i looked back on my short life, and saw myself in love with other girls. their hair, their eyes, the way they smiled, the way they walked. everything. sometimes i still get blown away when i see a beautiful woman, and it makes my breath catch in my chest like i had never known before that moment. of course i may bot have realized it for a long time if i hadnt had all the abuse from the men in my life, i think that really pushed it along. im just totally enthralled by the female body, the mind, the individuality that women seem to have all on their own. its refreshing and i feel as though i am with like-minded individuals when im around other women. when im around guys, all i notice is the things i hate about them, their vulgarity, their ugliness, (to me) and the way they dont seem to comprehend what im talking about. even some of the gay men, which oddly i can relate to more often, are dick heads. oh well. its what i have embraced about myself, and have incresingly grown even more gay and gay loving over the years.
yeah thas me

"The soul would have no rainbow if the eyes had no tears..."

rowanxxraven's picture

Don't feel like writing subject subject

Well I'm new to this site and I must say that wow awesome site! Anyway as my first post I shall have to say that I was kissing my friend before I knew what lesbian was. Then my older sister caught me and she was like this is wrong so I was like ok whatever and I forgot about the feelings for years. I think they came back when I was a freshman and my friend told me she was bi after she suspected I was a lesbian. So while I knew I was a lesbian from young I didn't really realize it until freshman year.

Medra's picture


Just wanted to say hi to the fellow new person. ^^

Anyways, how does your sister feel about you now?
The world is no longer black and white, but shades of grey.

Medra's picture


I didn't finally admit it until a couple years ago, I was 15 or 16. My best friend had just come out and my new friend was also coming out, though later I found out she was either in 'a phase' or only doing it as a fad. Many kids were coming out since it was popular so I decided to rebel by refusing to admit I was bi. However, when I fell in love with the aforementioned friend, the one who is straight, I had to admit it.

The world is no longer black and white, but shades of grey.

punkrock09's picture

I was a bit young

Well i am 13 year old quite confused gay.

bloodyobsession's picture

I was young

I was eight years old when i found out I was bi...well i didn't really know what bisexual was but I knew I was attracted to both biys and girl. The way it came about was that I had a crush on a guy and I couldn't help but think about how pretty my best friend of the time, Heather was...well it ended up my first kiss was with her. was such a weird