Being sick sucks. I had to stay home from Work Experience today(I wasn't that interested in going, but at least I would have had something to do) because I've got this god-awful cough that won't fucken go away! It kept my mum up last night, even though I slept through it. Weird. But anyway, she knocked on my door after I switched my alarm to snooze and told me to go back to sleep because I wasn't working today.
So that sucks. I've spent all day hanging around the house, trying to get some energy to get moving, do something at least. The most I've done is put my clean clothes away and hung out a load of washing for mum. Joy. I also have eaten about three bites of a pear all day, and it's evening now. I'm starting to get hungry, but I don't want to eat. Bleh.
Besides that, I've been on the questioning train again. Y'know, the one that when we get off we pray furvently that we won't get back on it again? That questioning train.
Lately, I've been wondering whether I'm more lesbian than just general queer. I don't like labels, it means people can put you into boxes and ignore you, and I've used queer instead of any other description most of the time since I first started questioning, but... Well, I've just been thinking. I'm currently 'with' a guy right now, but over the internet, Australia-America difference. And I really do like him, although since I realised that and told him he's been a little pressuring, but nothing major. However, it's his personality I love, not his body. I love his hair- it's long, and blond, and adorable. The rest of him... guys bodies just don't turn me on.
Girls, on the other hand... I go to an all-girls school, so I'm surrounded by them all the time. Not attracted to any of them there, but still. But if I glance across at a girl on the other side of the street, or in a shopping centre, or anything like that... they're beautiful. Girls are all curves, while guys are harsh straight edges. Girls are sensitive, and most of the time are on a similar level to you. Girls are just... wow.
But I love him. For his personality. And I don't want to let that go.
So what the hell do I do?