If I don't find out this week if my crush is gay or not, I'm gonna literally rip out all of my hair.
Why not just ask him? Unless he's a homophobe from the middle of the Bible Belt, the worst he'll do is say no.
"Sometimes a little brain damage helps."
-- George Carlin
You should just go for it.
"When that sonuvabitch puts his hands on her, you should tell yourself he's putting his hands all over you"
And good luck.