i am, what i never understood all long...

Tjedza's picture

Oh my god, I just discovered bisexuality!!
I read this one article online about bisexuality while looking for reasons why bisexuality does not exist when I realised that my definition/ idea of bisexuality was all wrong.

For someone so smart ( yeah even if I do say so myself) I am so exhaustingly obtuse.

All I along I figured that bisexuals were just confused individuals with an inability to choose/ or commit to one group (males) or the other (female). In my opinion being bisexual was like sitting on the fence, fearing to make a choice/ decision, being neither gay nor straight and therefore lacking a (sexual) identity altogether.

However, today, the reality all came crashing down on me when I realised that, I got it all wrong from the start. Being bisexual does not mean being exactly 50/50 and therefore one tends neither to one sex nor the other no…
Being bisexual is being real, being human.

My eye tends to wander from male to female, and though I tried so hard to be straight and that failed and I later tried so hard to be gay and that failed- I needed an excuse so I picked a sexual orientation…. And so I concluded that since it was so much cooler to be gay… I would call myself a gay chick with slight appreciation for dudes. Any thing BUT bisexual right. ;) see the way i saw it was…
If a vegetarian.. who had been so all his life, on one or two VERY rare occasions eats a meat, then do they cease to be a vegetarian?? No, they’re just a vegetarian who enjoys the occasional steak.

Ah yet another error on my part. I compared my sexual situation to a vegetarian’s dilemma. :!. Sex/ sexuality is not as lucid as that. Its not as simple as being vegetarian or not being so, because there is not degree of vegetarianism, no midpoint, no scale/calibration… just two extremes to be or not to be(ef). ;)

Its like a thermometer with only two extremes, two marked points- 100 degrees and 0 degrees. How does one measure the day’s temperature thus? What if its 28 degrees Celsius and because your thermometer’s only got two readings ( the equivalent of hot and cold) what right does one have to therefore conclude that- oh snap, its not on my thermometer so therefore such a temp. does not exist.

Oh snap

I rambled.

Anyway- bottom line is, I switched thermometers, and stuck the new ( precisely marked) one up my arm only to find that I’m not too hot… not to cold… just bisexual.


Daisy's picture

:)... It's great that you fig

:)... It's great that you figured it out. I have this theory that most (if not all) bisexuals go through a stage of being annoyed/confused by bisexuality, especially as kids. Just cause I did that, as did all my bisexual friends... I remember being about eleven years old and thinking, "I'll be fine with being gay or straight, just not bisexual, those people are either too scared to pick or they just want to have as much sex as they can, with everybody. Gross."

Yeah... Just thought I'd share.

"When that sonuvabitch puts his hands on her, you should tell yourself he's putting his hands all over you"

by_your_side's picture

I love epiphanies they make l

I love epiphanies they make life seem a little less stressful because you understand a little more of yourself. I'm glad you finally figured it all out! Bisexuals are just as valid as anything else. :)

I made a wish on a shooting star once but it's been so long, never did believe it 'til you showed up there and proved me wrong.