If you could be straight, would you?

Barralai's picture

This is a question i have been pondering for sometime now, and my answer is yes. I dont hate being bisexual, but it isnt the best thing that ever happened to me either.
WOuld apprecaite it you to answered teh same question, as i am curioust to what you would say.

emrysmor's picture

Being str8

To me, and many other gay men, being gay is also a spiritual state. It is something that we revel in and honor. When we truly become aware of our history we find our place in the world. We have been essential contributors to many societies throughout history. The self loathing that Christianity has foisted upon us is very recent in world history. It must be faced, challenged, and transformed in order to truly find our place as individuals and as a tribe/group. So, no,I would not like to be str8.

Snowed_in1014's picture

if i could be straight i woul

if i could be straight i wouldnt. i wish i had something deeper to say but i'm not as good at that as most of you people on here.

~~If there's something weird in your neighborhood
Who you gonna call?
GHOSTBUSTERS!
If there's something strange and it don't look good
Who you gonna call?
GHOSTBUSTERS!~~

Daisy's picture

Absolutely not. I probably wo

Absolutely not. I probably wouldn't choose to be gay, either, though I've said that from time to time.

I'm really glad to be bisexual... I can love anybody regardless of their biological sex, and I know how it feels to be attratced to both men and women, which I think is really nice, just in terms of experience.

"When that sonuvabitch puts his hands on her, you should tell yourself he's putting his hands all over you"

Zarylya's picture

I think exactly like you do..

I think exactly like you do...I wouldn't be gay, neither straight...I think it's great not to have sexual preferences. This way, I can love the person I want...

Paladin's picture

When I think completely logic

When I think completely logically about it, I wouldn't choose to be gay. If I was completely bisexual, I would have more potential dates and there would be a lot more eye-candy around. If I was completely straight, I wouldn't have to deal with homophobia.

But that misses the point. I'm proud to be gay and I like it. Maybe I would like things more if I were straight, but being gay is as much a part of my identity as anything else. I'm not a guy who just "happens to be gay", because I would be a completely different person if I wasn't gay.

I guess the best analogy is to consider a movie-buff who generally doesn't appreciate the movies which make a lot of money, but prefers the movies which play at art-houses and are rather unheard of, but praised by the critics. I'd imagine that he wouldn't want to change his tastes to suit the masses, even if that would mean that he would enjoy the movies his friends liked watching more.

Or for that matter, one's race may often affect one's status in society. But most people I know of don't want to change their race, just the racism. I don't want to change my sexuality, just the homophobia.

Dave

Aedyn's picture

I agree with the above and be

I agree with the above and below statements. I love being bi. Being able to appreciate both sexes in a similar manner is quite an amazing feeling. It was confusing and scary in the beginning, but now that I've accepted it in myself, it's a blast!

So yeah, I'd rather that people didn't really give a shit who you liked, but that doesn't mean I'd rather change myself to be a little happier.

You can never beat time, but you can sure put up a hell of a fight.

E.mo's picture

I don't think I could choose

I don't think I could choose one way or the other. It's not who I am to be this or that. Straight would be hard for me, as well as gay, because when I get to know a person and find that I really like them, it is hard to turn that feeling off. so no. not straight. not gay. just me.

nick_o64's picture

Like some already said, I wou

Like some already said, I wouldnt want to be straight or gay or whatever. I wish people could just love who they wanted, based on personality, spirituality etc. So ya thats wat i think lol.

But this isn't a perfect world :(.

~<3 nick

noangel6301's picture

pandora's box

Either way you answer this question you are lying to yourself. If you say you would choose to be gay, you are lying, because of all the bull and homophobia out there is trying on the strongest spirit, we all know if we had the choice we would choose the easiest path life would offer us so to answer no is bull. Now on the flip side if you say yes its like you are denying who you are, and that would just suck, so the only way i can answer that question is to just say,I would choose which ever path would be most benifical to me and would end of making me the happiest in the end, whether the road is paved with daisies or mindfields.

Dreamers often lie.

stewie's picture

i wish i could genuinely care

i wish i could genuinely care about people - period.
i am at a point where i love and trust no one.
my family is a given. but other then that,
i am all alone. people are mirrors of my imperfections
and my insecurites. i have resentmant and deep rooted anger
towards men and woman. i loath sex , the thought of
physical contact frightens me , females disgust me,
i seriouslly can't even look at a females without feeling rejected
immediatly.
males anger me for wanting their attention and acceptence.
i feel like no one wants me. i feel as if they already hate me.
i feel as if they point and stare and mock me.
i don't wish i was anything. i just wish i could care
again. if i wasn't soo scared of females i would pursue them.
if i wasn't soo insecure of my sexuality and my masculinity ,
i would have male friends and not feel or act soo desperate about it.
whenever i feel affection towards another male. i get angry and
wanna strangle them.
i wish i wasn't soo screwd up. i am lost angry youth....

Paladin's picture

I don't get it

Many of us are alone. I'm alone, in some ways, but I don't think that I'll be alone (in this sense) for the rest of my life. Homophobes are not a good reason to stop caring and start hating others. If you're trying to make us feel sorry for you (which, to be honest, seems to be the case), then show us why your situation is particularly different. Don't just keep complaining again and again about how life sucks. That's not cool.

Dave

Tjedza's picture

straight ....duh

1. k, what the hell is pansexual?
2. i personally would be straight, if it was a simple choice between gay and straight ( hm i dont believe in the existence of bisexuality)
being straight- where i come from, and where i live- is a lot easier for people to handle especially my family, and i do care what people think, because i can easily get shot for being gay/ bi/whatever...

in short.
it would just be a lot less stressful to stop POSING as a heterosexual.

3. IDEALLY. I would prefer to be asexual- just NOT attracted to either men or women and focus on myself and all ;)

"the source of our insecurity has likewise become our intelligence. we know, deep in our hearts that our lives are but a fantasy, bravado- method acting."

the mouse that roared's picture

Well

Pansexuality is being attracted to people regardless of gender--genderless, genderqueer, transgender, female, male, it doesn't matter. A pansexual has the potential to fall in love with anyone.

I would choose to be pansexual because it is the least exclusive orientation. Unfortunately for me, I don't think I am pansexual...

Why don't you believe in bisexuality?

stewie's picture

i am not looking for pitty. i

i am not looking for pitty. i am just pissed off.
i am really really really really angry,
i assumme people already hate me. i am self-concious of everything i do. i haven't learned from my mistakes. not everyone one is
strong enough to forgive and move on.some are really really really
f*cked up about the past and present mental barriers.
my mind plays the same thoughts over and over and it spins out
of control. they hate me so i hate them. no deep meaning
no special meanings. they hate me so i hate them.
don't pretend that homophobia don't anger you and piss you off.
it sickens me and angers me. i say fight fire with fire.
you guys play nice , educate , enlighten. i say i feel sorry, real
sorry for the person who crossess the line with me on the street.
because it will be their last breath, i swear on it.
say what you will about me because it is probally all true,
low self esteem , loser , freak show , no confidence-
who cares. i am what i am and i am expressing how i feel.
c'mon. it pisses you off that there is homophobia. abmit it that you
get angry and that you wanna do something about it when it happens
to you..because i always do. unless you're the type to go and cry about it, talking about forgiving and wanting to educate them.
to each his own then. you go cry about it. while i take care of my own.

the mouse that roared's picture

Of course no one likes homophobia

Of course people want to do something about it. I disagree with the eye-for-an-eye method myself. Reciprocating violence just breeds more violence and gives them more of a reason to stereotype and hate.

I'm sorry you feel so angry and lost. We all to at one point or another. You can talk to me if you like, or maybe posting will help you. We're here to listen.

stewie's picture

if someone tried to harm you

if someone tried to harm you , would you still be against it?
i may be small , but i have enough fight in me to fuel a industrial
warehouse.

the mouse that roared's picture

Have you heard of passive resistance?

It's what made Martin Luther King's African-American Rights Movement work.

stewie's picture

i am not black and it's not t

i am not black and it's not the freakin' 60s.hippy.

the mouse that roared's picture

No.

I would choose to be pansexual.

Luzzaius's picture

I would not be straight. Beca

I would not be straight. Because I'm happy the way I am, and growing up as a kid, that's all I wanted. Was to be happy. I was always different and I knew it, but now I have friends and family who accept me and love me and I'm happy. So to answer, your question...no, I'm happy and I wanna stay that way. But I'm still single, and that sucks.

Agarwaen's picture

selekta's got it

I agree with selekta. I would be ASEXUAL if I could. But to be more to the point - no, I'd rather stay gay. I guess that makes no logical sense, seeing all the homophobic people and their reactions, but since I'm gay I don't really want to turn straight.

"What does an eternity of damnation matter to one who has experienced for one moment the infinity of delight?" - Baudelaire

Sirens call's picture

Nope

I don't see why I would...I mean, being straight wouldn't make my life any better than it is...I'm happy...and I'm proud of who I am.

Being straight might mean I would have more friends, but they wouldn't be better friends, and it might mean my life would be 'easier' but life was never supposed to be easy... I love my life, and I like it how it is.

~Morgasm~

LostnDelerious's picture

YES, YES,YES,YES,YES,YES,YES,

YES, YES,YES,YES,YES,YES,YES,YES,YES,YES,YES,YES,YES,YES,YES,YES,YES,YES,YES,YES,YES,YES,YES,YES,YES,YES,YES,
no doubt about it
if there was two roads you could take, and both lead to the same place, wouldn't you take the easy one?

"You say goodbye, when underneath's your one belief that love rules all, it conquers all."

Sirens call's picture

....

"Life's not a destination, it's a journey"...ever heard that? Maybe this was just the path you're meant to take.

~Morgasm~

L_kid65's picture

ha

hah....thats probably the smartest thing i've heard anybody say in a while

pEopLe wHo ArE sEnSibLe aBoUt LoVe aRe iNcApAbLe Of iT

bamnsmile's picture

No, I have come so far already.

Me and my friends have actually talked about this question before. We all say no. First of all sexuality shouldn't even be a problem, people just happen to love different people. Also with everything that we have already gone through; coming out, personal conflicts, family conflicts, admitting to yourself that you are gay. Also be gay is so much fun. I have lots of new friends and have made really good friendships. If I had the choice I wouldn't.

wicked_torture's picture

No way would I change..I love

No way would I change..I love who I am and being straight is a choice it not blood related it's nothing but ur brain...you brain reacting so someone and then your heart following it...I"m a lesbian ful on 100% and I would never change for anything. Like other people said life ain't supposed to be easy...if anything the roughness of being lesbian gay bi...is making us stronger than the others. I love who I am and I accept that it won't ever change becasue I don't want it too...
Taste the rainbow!

feetanimal's picture

hell no

I like who I am, for the most part. I like swinging both ways. I have a bigger selection haha. Anyways, probably the main reason i say no is because I am madly in love with a girl right now, I would give my life for her, so yeah. La dee da I like being bi.

RoaG's picture

nah, too boring ;) ~~~

nah, too boring ;)

~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ramblings of a Girl

poetry nymph's picture

why take the easy way when your already on this road?

i wouldn't go straight for all money in the world. nope not me. i love being a lesbian. like others say, its way fun. besides why should you take the easy way when your already going down this path? and who the hell is gonna take the easy way unless there afraid of the pain, the dissapointment and the scars? im not. i hope no one else is either. cause this is where we are. yes ladies and gents. we are on this road and we are on it together. thats why we have this site isnt it? so why ask the question. i am unflinching in my gayness. and i am unflinching dammit when i say HELL YES I AM STAYING HERE. RIGHT HERE. I AM LESBIAN HEAR ME ROAR!!!
sorry i think i got carried away, i just wanted to express myself i guess. geez i done that a lot tonight.
poetry tiff.

Tjedza's picture

its just not necessary

wow- poetry nymph your post is just "frappant"
( cannot find a better word than the french, meaning very hard hittng, life changing etc)

its inspirational what you said, and v admirable.

but on the other hand its easy enough to stand on a protected little citadel on a mountain top and scream to the villagers below ( at e foot of the mountain)"dont run, let us stand guard and fight the war!" do you know what it feels like down in the trenches? its like wilfred owen poetry.

point is...
situations, places, and consequences of being homosexual differ for each and every person in this site, in the world in fact,
and it all sound well and good to throw a "coming out party" so to speak, BUT the reality of it is- from MY side, people cannot deal with it. my being gay ( anybody's being gay) is not a personal decision-
it is a decision one makes for one's friends ( who will, once having gained knowledge of your sexual orientation without a doubt, leave your ass to dry)
its a decision one makes for one's family- either they disown you or society disowns them... its terrible but its true.

homosexuality is just not something that people- anywhere in fact- are prepared to deal with. its not natural- according to most. so i figured, why sacrifice my family, my family's integrity, my friends, people i go to school with and work with...
why sacrifice my life, for the sake of some childish urge to express my true self by tellin them i'm gay-

i'd rather pretend i'm straight.

for f***'s sake i figured in the end its JUST sexuality- just sex- a simple issue of me preferring women to men- as simple as me preferring chocolate icecream to vanilla- so long as i stay true to myself,
then nobody needs to know that

i dont like vanilla.

"the source of our insecurity has likewise become our intelligence. we know, deep in our hearts that our lives are but a fantasy, bravado- method acting."

Sirens call's picture

What?!?

"So long as i stay true to myself,then nobody needs to know that" I'm sorry, but what does that mean? How can you be true to yourself about your sexuality if you're pretending to be straight, and - to everybody elses knowledge - are straight? What's the good in knowing that you're gay if you're going to make the world think you aren't? I don't think that helps anyone actually, for all your thoughts of being considerate and making sure nobody's life is made difficult.

Also, i don't think homosexuality is just about sex...of course it isn't. Plenty of people go through life having bad sex, if it was just about that then i'm sure lots of gays would take your lead. But it isn't...it's so much more than that. You say it's a 'preference' but it's not. It's not a matter of me 'prefering' boys to girls...guys just aren't in the equation, i know i could never feel a connection strong enough with a man...

Sorry for my rambling on...and i hope i didn't come accross as though i was attacking you, but some of the ideas you expressed really got to me. I hope one day you can feel some sort of pride about the fact that you're gay/bisexual...and if not, that's okay...straight is fine too...as long as you're going to be happy living a lie.

~Morgasm~

Paladin's picture

Owen's gay, by the way

There's considerable evidence Wilfred Owen was gay or bisexual (he had a thing for his mentor Siegfried Sassoon, and it was reciprocated).

homosexuality is just not something that people- anywhere in fact- are prepared to deal with. its not natural- according to most. so i figured, why sacrifice my family, my family's integrity, my friends, people i go to school with and work with...
why sacrifice my life, for the sake of some childish urge to express my true self by tellin them i'm gay-

i'd rather pretend i'm straight.

for f***'s sake i figured in the end its JUST sexuality- just sex- a simple issue of me preferring women to men- as simple as me preferring chocolate icecream to vanilla- so long as i stay true to myself,
then nobody needs to know that

You are sacrificing your integrity by being dishonest about your sexuality (if you are, that is). I don't consider my desire to come out a "childish urge", I consider it an important part of all my attempts to not be a hypocrite when I expect others to be honest with me. I cannot expect others to be honest with me about anything if I cannot be honest with them about something like this.

Most of us need sex (unless you're asexual). Most of us consider one goal in life to achieve emotionally meaningful relationships with others. Do you share these goals? How will you satisfy them? Are you going to keep any relationship you have a secret, but "act straight" in every other way? Why stop there? Maybe you should get married, tell your husband you don't have much of a sex drive, but secretly get it on with other women. That would be the best way to play it straight.

I would rather not ever have to put up with the fear of getting found out. And I couldn't watch the injustice that goes on in the world today to GLBTQ people and not decided that I will come out sooner or later. I would then be discriminated against, but it would be worth it.

For most people, lying suggests that you're ashamed about something. It's very difficult to hold on to a big secret and be completely okay with it. That said, it's your life. You make the decisions you want to, and they'll lead you wherever they do.

Dave

Tjedza's picture

truth is overrated some times... the politix of life

woo okay kids-
1. i am not ashamed of being gay.
and by acknowledging the fact that i am gay- i am therefore not living a lie... i KNOW who i am and what i am about-
i must admit at first i didnt like it,
i didnt get it.
but now i am GAY AS uh... gay???
anyway point is- the most important person one needs to come out to is oneself- the rest of the world comes next if at all one finds it necessary to tell them.
i just dont find it necessary.

"How can you be true to yourself about your sexuality if you're pretending to be straight, and - to everybody elses knowledge - are straight?"
- self knowledge is SELF knowledge, the rest of the world doesnt need to be in my business.

"What's the good in knowing that you're gay if you're going to make the world think you aren't?"

-damn, everyone wants to be a rebel, its pity some have to use their sexual preferrence as a weapon against conformity.

ANYWAY in MY OPINION being gay does not mean that one is obliged to hold a rainbow gay-nation sign over one's head. point is, being gay is not all about fighting for your right to be attracted to those of the same sex, its not supposed to be about fighting the mob off- its about sex,love,relationships not civil rights movements.

please people can we step out of the dark ages.

"You say it's a 'preference' but it's not. It's not a matter of me 'prefering' boys to girls...guys just aren't in the equation, i know i could never feel a connection strong enough with a man..."

yes i maintain that it is a preferrence because according to the natural order of things,science, all humans are straight- what i mean is, we are all born straight and as we develop, not only does our personality grow and change but so does our sexuality. simple.

(NB hey, i'm not meaning to shoot anyone down in that, i am NOT saying that being gay is unnatural, but merely stating that its a part of growing up (and life in general) for some.)

sorry if people got me wrong when i spoke of a childish urge..
see the childish urge is NOT homosexuality itself- but the puerile urge is instead, the NEED to tell people that i am gay, when its only going to make people uncomfortable.

in the end whether, i'd rather be straight or gay- the situation is beyond my control, i'm gay whether i like it or not- fortunately i like it and most importantly i am honest about my sexuality to those dearest to me, eg the most important person in my life...ME. ;)

i still maintain that being gay, does not make those around me comfortable... i'm too popular to shock people now. there're just too much to lose, and for what??- satisfaction in knowing that i told peopel the truth?- i'm sorrry but in that case the truth just aint necessary.

"the source of our insecurity has likewise become our intelligence. we know, deep in our hearts that our lives are but a fantasy, bravado- method acting."

stewie's picture

how excatly do you pretend to

how excatly do you pretend to be straight?

i am naturally masculine and aggressive. i can't even pretend to
like females. i can't even pretend to like anyone for that matter.
it seems like everyone is telling me that homosexuality is wrong.
religion , society, media , etc. and that alone causes me much anger,
who are they to tell me whats right for me and whats not?

who are they to judge me?who i fall in love with and whom i enjoy sex with is all of a sudden on debate and on display for public opinion all of a sudden, but it's none of my buisness and i have no say in the issue if todd in accounting likes to whack off in womans clothing and bill enjoys midget indian oil wrestling, and miss parker is a slut and is on crack. it's nobodys f.ucking buisness. sexual preference is a personal choice and it not up for public debate or public matter to deal with.

what god am i supposed to turn to for guidence when the gods supposedly damn me. but god loves everyone,
including faggots.right? maybe if i become a cathlic preist molest a kid and then renounce my sins i will get into heaven.

or i can become a killer go to jail find god ( and also a boyfriend )
become forgiven and get into heaven that way.even though i killed
and taken someone's innocent life.

maybe if i act straight by squeezing my loose ass together really really tightly and act all macho at the gates, i can fool god and get into heaven.

but then i would have to spend the rest of eternity being a phoney.

a fake a liar a chicken shit

i would rather be myself and face eternal damnation.
if i am facing hell for who i am , with all the rapist , killers ,
and the rest of the scum of the world , just becasue of whom i love
and whom i decide to sleep with... so be it. even in the afterlife
i would still continue to fight for who i am.what are they gonna do?
kill me? run a train on me?ooooohhh- please! harder! harder!

dosen't it even remotly bother any of you that we supposedly share the
same fate as killers , rapists and all of the shitbags of the world?
just because of whom we love and how we live our lives?
it dosen't bother me because i don't give a fuck. i don't believe that shit.
i know i lived my life the best i could with the cards i was dealt.

i would never be straight, i would never pretend to be straight, i would never pretend to be someone i am not ,just to be acceptted by
society. i would rather have them hate me for who i am instead
of liking me for who i am not.you go play nice , hold hands , smile bright for everyone and live a lie if you must to fit in. in either case , society can fuck themselves.so can the media , so can religion,
and so can all you wannabes out there.

i yam vut i yam!!! blow me!!

Daisy's picture

Lost Angry Youth, I'm really

Lost Angry Youth, I'm really sorry that you percieve that world that way. I want you to know that there are a lot of people and places who are entirely accepting of homosexuality, and that things are not as bad as you're making them out to be...You are not facing eternal damnation, and not all faiths condemn us. My religion (Reform Judaism) embraces homosexuality... In fact, the Rabbi who did my bat-mitzvah (a coming of age ceremony) is a lesbian. As for the media, there are a lot of books, movies, and TV shows that feature gay and lesbian characters and portray them in an entirely positive light.

I think that it bothers everybody here that there are people in the world who believe we are to be grouped with "killers, rapists and shitbags of the world." But it's just plain not true. There are fewer bigots now than in the past, there will be fewer tomorrow, and someday we will live in world where that kind of talk is socially unacceptable.

"When that sonuvabitch puts his hands on her, you should tell yourself he's putting his hands all over you"

stewie's picture

i wish i was at that somewhere

i wish i was at that somewhere...
i'd be a GAY MANWHORE!

a middle school girl comes home and asks her mother if
babies come from where boys put their penises.
her mother says yes...
the girl replies - but would'nt that knock out my teeth?

zoe rose's picture

hell yea

about a week ago i was proud of it, or trying to be, and i know that i should be, but right now, i hate myself, and i want to be normal, i dont want to go through this.
so yea, i would, if i could be, but i know i cant...
which sucks because it would make everything so much less confusing, and i might sleep at night, instead of crying...
but for the people who are proud of it, i wish i could be like you.
i guess i just have to wait till im over with all my questioning.
right?

life is hell.
enjoy it while you can.

poetry nymph's picture

support . . . from a friend?

dont worry about whats going on inside you right now. you are young although i hate to say that cause i hate it when people say it to me. but it is true and you probably just arent sure of what is right for you and what you need at this point in your life.
i hope that helps.
poetry tiff

"We bleed just to know we're alive . . ."
-GooGoo Dolls

the mouse that roared's picture

the feelings are normal, though

hang in there...

the mouse that roared's picture

Wow

Hmm.... extreme opinionatedness... I think I'll jump in.

Selekta--
"ANYWAY in MY OPINION being gay does not mean that one is obliged to hold a rainbow gay-nation sign over one's head. point is, being gay is not all about fighting for your right to be attracted to those of the same sex, its not supposed to be about fighting the mob off- its about sex,love,relationships not civil rights movements.

please people can we step out of the dark ages."

Of course it doesn't mean one is obliged to advertise one's gayness, or gay rights. Straight people don't go around shouting out their sexuality, and neither should we have to. However, this is about our SEXUALITY. Recognition of the way in which we express our sexual nature, which is a huge, emotional part of ourselves. Where would we be without sexuality? Of course it's not only about the sex! You are saying that you don't care about your sexuality when you say you are never going to fight for it. You are insulting all the people that work so hard for civil rights to be recognized in law. While I have not come out yet, due to me still being questioning, I think you are being unfair.

"yes i maintain that it is a preferrence because according to the natural order of things,science, all humans are straight- what i mean is, we are all born straight and as we develop, not only does our personality grow and change but so does our sexuality. simple."

We are not all born straight. There is no reason for us to be born straight rather than gay. I agree that sexuality grows with us as we grow up, but I don't think it's a "gay conversion" thing.

"sorry if people got me wrong when i spoke of a childish urge..
see the childish urge is NOT homosexuality itself- but the puerile urge is instead, the NEED to tell people that i am gay, when its only going to make people uncomfortable.

i still maintain that being gay, does not make those around me comfortable... i'm too popular to shock people now. there're just too much to lose, and for what??- satisfaction in knowing that i told peopel the truth?- i'm sorrry but in that case the truth just aint necessary."

You are trading emotional and intellectual freedom for making others comfortable. If you are not ready to come out, then that's fine, just say so, but don't stay silent to please others, to make them comfortable. They might be comfortable, but are you truly comfortable?

Tjedza's picture

nooooooooooooooo

1.YES WE ARE all born straight or at least with a hint of heterosexuality in us.

2."You are saying that you don't care about your sexuality when you say you are never going to fight for it."

i do care about my sexuality thank you very much.
i just dont believe that the fact that i wanna kiss girls is anyone else's business.

i just dont believe in fighting to convince people (who clearly dont wanna be convinced) that some thing that i already know is true/valid is true/valid. we all have our own realities, i dont wanna impose mine on anyone else.

bottom line is we all live in different locations, with different beliefs, customs and levels of tolerance for minorities and generally people who are different. and i maintain that i have to pretend i'm straight ( and that it would be easier to go through life ifi actually was straight) so that everyone is "comfortable"- for lack of a better word.
in this all i am saying is so long as i am "straight" every1 is comfortable, ie nobody gets shot/imprisoned.

get it?

"the source of our insecurity has likewise become our intelligence. we know, deep in our hearts that our lives are but a fantasy, bravado- method acting."

Sirens call's picture

hmmm...

Okay, i'm not in this argument/debate/whatever anymore...obviously your views aren't being changed and i guess that's good...in a way...that you're so sure...actually, i still don't like it. That's irrelevant.

Now i'm just curious.
So Selekta, are you going to pretend to be straight your whole life? That's what i've gathered from your posts (and i know i'd go insane if i tried it) am i correct? If that's right, how are you ever going to find a girlfriend...find love...find happiness if you're pretending to be something you're not, forever? Just wondering...

Also, why have you decided that everybody elses comfort/happiness is more important than your own? Surely there is SOMEWHERE that you can live where people won't hate you because of your sexuality?

~Morgasm~

Tjedza's picture

not my WHOLE life

well obviously there is SOMEWHERE on this planet that i can hoist a rainbow flag...

2. in 'pretending' i'm straight i still get dates, like i'm NEVER single. i dont want to sound vain but, i just got this thing where- girls just come to me, they are just naturally attracted to me, i dont know what it is, they just do.
and i am not going to pretend i'm straight all my life, this is a very temporary situation- one day i'll move, etc.

"Also, why have you decided that everybody elses comfort/happiness is more important than your own? "
well- like i said before- their comfort is my comfort, so long as i'm ' heterosexual' i stay alive and thats comfort enough for me!!
on serious tip, i am a naturally selfless person
and i always put other people first, its just the way i operate.

3. i'm not being stubborn okay guys!!- i'm just trying to back up the points that i made before thats all, just trying to express my feelings and my situation(s) the best way i can...
i aint attacking no one!!

mwah much love!!

;)

"the source of our insecurity has likewise become our intelligence. we know, deep in our hearts that our lives are but a fantasy, bravado- method acting."

Sirens call's picture

...er...

Shit, Selekta you've got me so confused...i'm getting out of this forum lol. So girls are naturally attracted to you...and you're NEVER single...so i take it you date girls? er...or not...but if you do, then that's not playing it straight...so yeah...bye, this thing's gotten too muddled lol...i think i'm too blonde to contribute :P

~Morgasm~

Paladin's picture

.

Just in case there's any doubt, I don't hate you or anything just because you don't want to come out yet. I'm challenging only the things your saying in a "love the sinner, hate the sin" way.

If you are as selfless as you say you are, then you would be trying to do something for the millions of gay people who aren't as lucky as you. We aren't beautiful enough that we just get people walking up to us from out of the blue, wanting gay relationships. We will face the exact same problem of "making people uncomfortable" when we come out, and we don't want that to happen. And if you'd say that it was there fault for coming out, then what about those who got outed?

It would seem to me that we should all be trying to make the world a place where no one cares who's gay or straight or whatever else. The only way to do that is to not hide your sexual identity, even if that only means not hiding your gfs.

YES WE ARE all born straight or at least with a hint of heterosexuality in us.

I don't see how you can know what I was born with. But yes, I was born with a hint of heterosexuality, as I am not 100% gay. Every study on homosexuality accepted by the scientific commnity has come to the conclusion that there is at least some aspect that comes from birth.

i just dont believe in fighting to convince people (who clearly dont wanna be convinced) that some thing that i already know is true/valid is true/valid. we all have our own realities, i dont wanna impose mine on anyone else.

We all have our own realities, yes. So why stand up against racism sexism, bullying, or any other form of persecution?

Dave

Tjedza's picture

be gay or die trying.

"It would seem to me that we should all be trying to make the world a place where no one cares who's gay or straight or whatever else. The only way to do that is to not hide your sexual identity, even if that only means not hiding your gfs....

We all have our own realities, yes. So why stand up against racism sexism, bullying, or any other form of persecution?"

* gives dave a standing ovation*

okay, you know i get your point,
and all i can say is thank you...
my pretending to be straight,
is not fair to anyone,
its not fair to my girlfriends,
its not fair to the general public ( because lying in general is not 'nice')
its not fair to me- i cant go through life pretending to be who i am not for fear of the consequences of 'the truth' e.g. death/incarceration/discrimination... because in the end, its not life RIGHT??

and it just leads to one big question,
am i willing to die ( in the most general sense of the word....perhaps not literally) for my sexuality/ my right to express it?

"the source of our insecurity has likewise become our intelligence. we know, deep in our hearts that our lives are but a fantasy, bravado- method acting."

Paladin's picture

and it just leads to one big

and it just leads to one big question,
am i willing to die ( in the most general sense of the word....perhaps not literally) for my sexuality/ my right to express it?

I am.

Dave

wild-blue-yonder's picture

a thought

Re: "You are trading emotional and intellectual freedom for making others comfortable. If you are not ready to come out, then that's fine, just say so, but don't stay silent to please others, to make them comfortable."

I agree with Mouse, that it's not always healthy to hold in your emotions to keep others happy - but also, that may not be the only reason you have to stay in the closet. Maybe you're afraid of how your life would be if the people around you weren't comfortable? Is it possible that you're protecting yourself, and not them, by staying closeted?

Just curious.

TtRskittles69's picture

Probly...

I probly would be, or at least I would go back into the closet, or whatever you want to call it... I just really can't stand how everyone treats you after they find out, ya know? people can be really ignorant sometimes, other than that though, I love the way that I am... Casey

I want to cry but my pride won't let me.

If the world didn't suck, we'd fall off.