Months and months.

Anonymous's picture

And so, after months and months, I have returned!! To tell the truth, I kind of forgot about Oasis for a while...but it's not my fault, there's been a lot of crap going on.
So the school finally made an effort to come up with an alternative to get me credit for gym, and I thought we had it all worked out, but they haven't started it yet. And the note that my "happy pills" doctor gave the school (to get me a month out of gym) is up so I'm getting 0's for class again instead of a medical excuse. Stupid stupid stupid school.
I went to school on Monday, then I was out Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday because of muscle spasms in my neck. I've been dying to see one of my bestest friends but she wasn't in school today. :( Grr and I was late so I've got I.S.S. on Monday, so I won't be able to see my friend anyway. Life is really pissing me off!! But at least we're actually starting a GSA now. We're finally having our first meeting to organize things on Tuesday. YAY!
I'm extremely frustrated with my counselor, but I don't even feel like complaining about it because I'm so sick of counselors. At every appointment, we talk about my friends and what movies I've seen and all this irrelevant crap. My problem right now is my social anxiety. Not how I feel about movies I watched over the weekend. At my last appointment, she really got on my nerves. Basically what has happened with my counseling is this: I finally found the PERFECT counselor for me and she got pregnant and has not come back to work yet and I don't know if she ever will. So I switched to my little sister's counselor because supposedly she was really good. And I haven't even really had a chance to get to know her and yesterday at my appointment, out of nowhere, she starts asking me things like, "so did your dad ever hit you?" and "was your dad really mean to you?" Please... first of all, let me get a chance to know you, lady.. and why don't you try reading my record and you'll actually learn something about my past instead of making me tell the entire story again for the 15th time. And if you're going to ask me questions about my dad, work up to it..and make it sound a little more proffessional.
Hmm...well, I have a crush on a boy. People keep telling me how stupid it was to give him a note telling him I wanted to get to know him, but I didn't exactly have any other choices. My anxiety is pretty damn bad...I can barely even walk around the school without a friend with me, so there's no way I'd be able to walk up to someone and just talk to them. So, I got a note to him. I thought he just wasn't interested but it turns out he still doesn't have any idea who I am. It was funny finding that out today. He keeps asking my friend and she won't point me out to him. I'll make sure he finds out next week, though. I feel so immature...like a 5th grader. I'm in 10th grade and I give a note to a guy I like because I can't talk to him. Does anyone else think I'm immature? I just felt so stuck... Every single time I get a crush on someone, I can't do a damn thing about it. I was so sick of just sitting around and waiting for my feelings to subside, so I decided to take action. Even if it wasn't the best action. All I can do is hope for the best. And if he's really the nice guy everyone says he is, he'll at least talk to me once or twice and find out what I'm like.
My mom really surprised me. A while back, we were talking and I told her I was getting really worried about getting all my credits for gym and being able to graduate. She told me, "It doesn't matter if you graduate. I just want to you to get through high school and do your best." :) God, I love my mom so much! She's the best. In the car yesterday, we were quiet and all of a sudden she said, "PFLAG has meetings once a month." It just makes me feel so good knowing that my mom really supports my sexuality and wants to be a part of making sure that I'm okay and happy. I love how involved she wants to be in everything in my life. I love my mommy!
I read Agarwaen's entry about the call she got from her pastor. You know, it really irritates me the way people from churches act sometimes... if you're religious and or/spiritual, isn't it supposed to be a personal thing? From what I've seen, some churches tend to believe that they need to be involved in everyone's business when it comes to religion. Grr. I just think that they need to mind their own business and let people believe what they want and be who they are.
Afterellen.com is a cool website...

Comments

niks121997's picture

Hey

Ah it's nice to hear from you. :) I don't think you're immature at all. I hope things go well.

"All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream."