Things My Dad Says That Bug The Crap Out Of Me

OverlappingElvis's picture

Some of this stuff happened tonight. Some of it happens all the time. All of it I'm sick of. And I'm really starting to lose any patience I once even thought about having for this kind of crap.

1. In reference to the movie High Anxiety: "Oh, I love how they're punning off of Hitchcock!" I'm sorry, "punning?" Parodying, or even satirizing, but "punning" is definitely not the word I'd use.

2. "It's such a silly movie!" Again, in reference to High Anxiety. Okay, fine. That's his opinion. I might disagree about it being "silly" but he's still entitled to feel anything he wants about that movie. It would be nice if he could use a little bit more variety in describing it, though, rather than calling it "silly" at least ten or so times.

3. Really, the repeated use of the word "silly" in any context.

4. Everytime he calls me something vaguely infantilizing or emasculating, such as "honey" or "bear." Seriously, this borders on offensive. I hate it with an indescribable fury, although for whatever reason I've never told him outright to cut it out. I mean, i'm 18 years old. Don't talk to me like I'm your little kid. Or your girlfriend. I am neither.

5. Taking on a completely fake accent when talking to someone with a real accent. I don't know if this is intentional or not, but to me it comes off as patronizing and imperialist. Especially in Chinese restaurants.

6. Speaking of Chinese restaurants, the use of (again, insensitive and imperialist) terms like "Oriental," "The Orient," and "Afro-American." On the one hand, these aren't exactly completely offensive, per se, and they are terms that were common usage when he was growing up, but still. I'm not at all a super-PC person, but I still cringe when he (innocently) says something like that.

7. Back to the whole infantilizing thing, whenever he talks to me as if I'm some kind of especially bright 4-year-old. As if I'm some precocious little thing that may be reading about age level (proverbially speaking) but can still be gently belittled, etc.

8. Talking shit about people, when he could easily say the same thing about himself if he weren't so blindly self-centered and narcissistic. Like his one friend that he complains always has to dominate the conversation and one-up and accomplishments that are brought up? Hmm... sound familiar? You looked in a mirror lately?

I don't really want to think of any more things right now. I'll just get pissed off even more. I can't hate him, as such, but I am really sick of this kind of thing, in a big way. And I don't hate him. I just can't stand him a lot of the time. I'm moving out soon, so this is going to get better one way or another. Either he'll wise up that this stuff doesn't work, or I'll just be gone. I really hope it's the first way, but... who knows if it will be? I don't want to dislike being around him. If he acted differently, time with him would be a lot easier. I know from past experience, though, that he probably won't really change. It's just his nature.



kari's picture

Calm down.

Some fathers are just like that, at least that's what my mom tells me. In time he'll figure out how much he is hurting your relationship but don't expect anything too soon. Hope things get better for you.

Sirens call's picture


Yeah, I can see why that would piss you off...but maybe you should try being happy about the fact that you have a father who wants to watch movies with you, and who cares enough about you to call you affectionate pet names...hmmm? From my position it seems like you should cut the guy a bit of slack, but I don't know all the, hope things improve for you.