what really counts.. no really what??

Tjedza's picture

Today I woke up feeling sad- I’m not so sure why, I just feel a really heavy weight on my heart puling my mind down a dead end path into insanity.

My life is an incoherent collection of events thoughts and actions. Love, life, priorities, choices, mistakes, falling down, getting up, realising and sifting through what matters… what really matters.

What does really matter?
Getting an office job, with great dental cover, a cute secretary and a fantastic leather chair?
Having fabulous friends that you see for a round of drinks or lunch on a regular basis (sex and the city style) and laugh with and discuss your petty little problems about love, happiness and partners and your mammoth problems like parties, shoes and manicures?
Sexual satisfaction, pleasure after pleasure elevating you swiftly to a peak… and just before you get there bringing you slowly down to a point that borders the satisfaction you long for, so you push and pull closer toyour hunger, your craving, the need for more, …more … more- as your finger nails dig deep into the sheets, the hunger is galvanized, it sends adrenaline shooting through your body. You scream in ecstasy as your body comes to life quaking and quivering in utter enlightenment- sexual climax.
At that very instant, your heart, your mouth, your legs, your body is open- your soul is honest.
Is that what matters?

What about after the sex… what about love?




You ummmm lost me i'm all confuzzled now.Are you talking about sex or ummm people who have fairy tail livez.Can you explain?

I want to cry but my pride won't let me.

Tjedza's picture

how do i say this..hmm

yeah the words in that entry were a bit randomly thrown together-
but i am basically talking about- no asking
what it is that REALLY matters in life...
be it a fairy tale life- i mean is it easier to run from reality and lead a life like that.. if hapiness is all that matters. or does the truth matter?
does love matter?
is it really necessary to dig deeper for a meaning to life if it will only make you unhappy and confused??

"the source of our insecurity has likewise become our intelligence. we know, deep in our hearts that our lives are but a fantasy, bravado- method acting."

tarni's picture

I think what really matters i

I think what really matters if finding something you care about, and caring for it. I truthfully can't see much more point to things, so whether what you care about is a career, or a social life, or a partner, and the degree and depth of however much you want to, just care about something. Let it matter to you.

I think people caring about you also is very important, but your soul needs something to care for first.



"People who take you at face value will always be your true friends. Truth + laughter = good friendships."
--milly the fairy

Paladin's picture

All of the above, except money

I have figured out why I'm attracted to other people. The three things I see in others are:
Their intellect - I like talking to smart people;
Their sense of humour - I like hearing jokes
Their sex appeal - I like feeling, smelling and looking at sexy people;
My ability to confide in them, about anything that concerns me.

And when I live without one of the above (as I am now) I pursue what's missing. Money is not very important, in itself, so just get enough to be reasonably happy. But having a job you like is important.

However, the way you described things, I would definitely choose sex. And by the way, I believe adrenaline is what you feel when you're scared, rather than what you feel when you're sexually pleased.


jeff's picture

First of all...

The love should come before AND after the sex. If you're only waiting for it after, that's just being an optimistic slut.

Seriously, though, the goal of life is to find happiness and meaning. Money is a trap and should be avoided. I just voluntarily reduced my income by more than $75,000 this year to work on my novel, which probably won't ever make me $75,000, so I think following your heart is key across the board.

Don't let money or other people make your decisions for you. Your own internal compass is usually right, but there are heavy societal distractions that will demand you go in other directions.