Dear god...tequila has done it again.

zoe rose's picture

So wow.
Let me start on- I got over Anne.
But its not as hip-hip-hooray as I expected.
Of course, if anything were to come of it, if she would send me a godamned picture of herself (lol) that might help me ease back into a crush...
But...for the moment, i dont like her. (but you know...if she would visit, there is a definate chance that something might happen)
Or maybe I got over her because of this:

After band practice (!!!!!!!) (We are the Underestimated) (And we have THREE songs!!!!) Last saturday, sophie came over, and well, a bit of tequila, a bit of this a bit of that...our brains were stimulated in the mess that accompanies that mind-boggling substance called alcohol. Wow that was a cool sentance. Well, we had intentions...and we went with them. After numerous wonderings of what we should do, I finally got up the courage (and impulsiveness) to say, wellll, we could make out. And so we did (in my closet) and well, stuff happened...its a bit foggy so its not as easy to recall...but I remember the basic gist of it and well...we end up in my bed naked, and well, we finger each other...and then we kind of lay back, and I said...shit, does this mean we've lost our virginity? or something, and wew kind of laugh nervously, and get up and get dressed and the rest of the night we kind of talk, convince ourselves that it didnt mean anything and that no, we didnt lose it, but im still wondering.
And see, as much as I did enjoy it, i feel like i didnt really enjoy it...does that make sense?
Because, I dont like Sophie...and so its wierd.
And we agreed to forget, but see, i dont know if i can...
And since she doesnt like girls as much as i do, (the percentage, as of january or something was like 20 girls 80 guys...) (for me its the opposite) she probably can throw it away easier.
But you see, I cant.
That counts just as much as it would if it were a guy.
Except we were drunk, so I guess it doesnt.
But I dont know...
I've just been so fucking confused...and I decided to let it out on you.
You know what?
I should write a song.