Love, Justice, and Other Blind Creatures

Daisy's picture

--- I've never put poetry on here before, or anywhere online, and I'm a little scared... This piece really upset me after I wrote it, I've felt sick for days. I just wanted to see if people had any reactions. It's based partially on a dream I had (which I posted about), as well as my life recently. It's meant to be a performance piece, but I think it works okay on paper, too. Thanks for your time. ---

Love, Justice, and Other Blind Creatures

She tears the piece of paper once
right down the middle
her eyes round like she’s wishing
she could split herself
that easily.
I clap
foolishly
like I am trying
to get something
off of my hands.
She responds
in whispers
her mouth moving
deliberately
like the syllables
cost money.
She says,
“Did you think that I was
sleeping?
Did you think I couldn’t
hear?

Comments

niks121997's picture

:)

I liked it. :)

"All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream."

xxxangelxxx's picture

Wow!!

I really enjoyed reading your piece there, well done I think you wrote that really well, it's very powerful.

As soon as forever is through, I'll be over you.

the mouse that roared's picture

oh my god

That is such an intense, unsettling poem. Very surreal. Wonderful job. I can see why you'd be freaked out.

dookie5's picture

At first i thought i wasnt go

At first i thought i wasnt gonna read it all the way through b/c of its lenght. lol but i started and i was hooked. I couldnt stop reading it was really powerfull. You were very discriptive, it was like a movie in my head. I loved it. Nice job. -Dookie

beulah land's picture

wow. intensely descriptive,

wow.
intensely descriptive, very surreal. wonderful writing.