ndini ani?

Tjedza's picture

ndini ani? ( native subsahran language-shona- meaning: who am i.)

Who am i.

I am the girl that spent her whole month long holiday NOT studying, dam I don’t even think I still remember how to read…

I am the girl that keep hittin on her best friend’s man tonight and made out with him ‘til it got tooooo hot the only thing stopping us was the lack of a rubber… with no remorse, I might add.

what have i become?

I am the girl that lacks a conscience, that lacks a pulse, fuck it – the girl that lacks a heart.

I am the girl that cannot comprehend the concept of monogamy because I always want more than I’m allowed to have.

I am the girl that will not share- I’m selfish.

I am the girl that is always the sexiest in the room, but the ugliest in her own heart.

I am the geek that pretends to be a rebel coz it s just ‘hardcore like that’.

I am the girl
that’s looking at you from across the room as if she wants to make a move, but she won’t – not coz she’s shy or pretentious… but coz she cares and doesn’t wanna hurt you.

i am the girl that breaks people's hearts, not in two... but in even chunks, probably 10, and i have their hopes and dreams as an appetizer, their heart as a main course, and their livelihood for dessert... i down all this with several broken glasses of pain and tears.

i am sick... no really i feel sick.

I am the girl that gets so drunk she does not remember her own name… but is money-minded enough to remember how much is in her pocket.

I am the girl who spent two hours explaining to a cop why I don’t have a licence and why my friends were passed out in the back of my car.

I am the girl who drove away from that policeman thinking “fuck you, I am not about to go to jail over this shit

Comments

niks121997's picture

....

I really liked this entry. It made me think.

"All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream."

Tjedza's picture

dunno much

hmm a drunken rant is always refreshing i guess.

i just feel like i'm such a terrible person someti
mes you know... its just in my opinion actions and thoughts alone do not make up a person... but there's just so much more to us you know?

"the source of our insecurity has likewise become our intelligence. we know, deep in our hearts that our lives are but a fantasy, bravado- method acting."