Your first crush

by_your_side's picture

I was reading through some of my old journals and found out that in thrid grade i was completely obsessed over a girl in my class. Obviously i had no idea i was gay back then but i just found it funny how i documented every little thing she did. I would write down if she talked to me that day or if she sat next to me during quiet time...and then afterwards i would write if i was content or not. So i guess without really knowing it, i had my first crush in third grade.

I was just wondering who was everyone else's first crush?


im not quiet sure...

I can't remember my first but i can remember my biggest was the 4th grade on my friend amanda (same name as me by the way).and she was my best friend although she was a grade above me (keyword there:was)we ended up getting into a fight but we beame friends again like 3 months after but we weren't as close.i told her in february i liked her and she said i probably had a chance (hmmmm havn't gotten that chance yet...maybe i'll look for her number;))so yeah that was my first big crush.

I want to cry but my pride won't let me.

Connie83's picture


My first crush was when I was 4 with a blond haired boy named Eric. I was born a hermorphadite though. i do have a full set of functioning female organs, just no vagina. I do have a penis, but my testicles never descended and became sore and infected when I was 15 and were removed. And I was born without a prostate as well. I find quite a few men claiming to be straight but wanting to go Gay. They are just afraid to do it. But I'm just 5'4, 33-19-35 and very feminine looking. So, It is easy for me to introduce them to their first Gay experience. Every last one of them wants to suck my cock. Which is always funny to be as I can't even get an erection. But they sure suck away trying to get cum that isn't there. but once they get that far, they want to move on to the real thing and have a real man's cock to suck and also go anal. I have always wanted to get it on with a couple Gay guys myself. But, of course, I am way too much like a woman to attract them. Heck, most me and women too are Bi anyway. But for me, Bi's just don't have the right personality or attributes. What I would really like is a couple gay guys that had just a hint of feminine qualities. Just my observation as well, but it seems that Gay men have bigger wangers than straights. Gee, i knew one gay guy once that i was talking to and his cock must have poked a good 3 inches past his knee from his shorts. And it was obvious it was nowhere near erect. I sure would have liked some of that.

Daisy's picture

I just remembered a few weeks

I just remembered a few weeks ago that when I was really really little (like two or three) I was totally obsessed with this girl who was a year or two older than me. Her name was Zoe, and one holiday I talked about her so much that my father picked up one of the cardboard tubes from wrapping paper and used it like a megaphone to say "ZOE'S NOT HERE"... Which became a tradition every time anybody have any kind of tube for years... So yeah, I don't know that that quite counts as a crush but still. :)

"When that sonuvabitch puts his hands on her, you should tell yourself he's putting his hands all over you"

cherryredlipgloss's picture


im not really sure, but i think my first real crush was in kindergarten. there was this one girl who was really quiet that i was good friends with, emily. i couldnt stop thinking about her till 6th

think outside of the closet

Y - GuRl's picture

*sigh* Rachel

I had my first proper crush in the first year of high school. She was in my class, her name was Rachel. I don't even know why I liked her but I just did. She turned me into this giddy little school girl hehe. And I always used to listen to this song called Rachel and it'd go something like "Rachel tell me what I'm waiting for, aren't you really just a penny whore". Haha and somehow that song was relevant at the time..

[This world's an ugly place.. but you're so beautiful to me]

FlameFish08's picture

well there was alot fo times when i was younger, like so many that i couldnt remeber, when i would become obsessed with my friends older sisters. there was this one in particular whihc i distinctly remeber, but it didnt register that i had a crush on her until later. then, my first huge one was this year, on my birthday actually. i felt like i was in love for the first time, and i couldnt stop thinking about her. i wote poetry and everyhting. yeah, it was a mjor crush, but now i see it was nothing more.

Emo Rachel's picture


My first crush was when I was in 4th grade(me and her are
now about to be juniors in high school) when I met
Cassandra. I became her firned and now, to this minute, we
are best friends. I am in love with her but will probably
never know how I truly feel about her.

QuakerOats's picture

my friend's older brother whe

my friend's older brother when i was 11. then as a freshman in high school, this gothic senior lesbian...

Come out, come out wherever you are!

Snowed_in1014's picture

My first crush on a guy was i

My first crush on a guy was in 3rd grade and his name was Ryan Something-i dont remember and he wasnt even that great looking her was just a good friend.
My first crush on a girl is actually still going on right now. And it just happened this year. So yea...i've only ever had one crush on a girl so far. (8th grade)

Daelus's picture


My first one, I think, was on my friend Max
when we were.. I don't know, very young, anyway.
I used to love cuddling him. Haha. One of my
other friends used to say I was gay for doing
that. How prophetic. :)

After that, I had a crush on a guy in my class
called Eoin. I remember I was thrilled
when I was moved to sit beside him in class.
And I couldn't stop glancing at him, constantly.
I always had to watch him walk away, down
the corridor. I remember thinking it was weird
that the other people could just turn
around and start talking to each other, without
watching him leave. "Don't you see how pretty
he is!?" Haha. That was when I was around 11
or 12.

"If nothing we do matters, then all that
matters is what we do."

tastetherainbow's picture

sadly enouqh... sporty spice

ok yea thats just really weird, i had this huqe crush on sporty spice... ::thinks for a second:: wow. well, if your talkinq about people we know, the first crush i had on a qirl was in 6th qrade on my friend cara. she and i were always really friendly with eachother and, i dunno... its just weird. :D

If homosexuality is a disease, let's all call in queer to work: "Hello. Can't work today, still queer." - Robin Tyler

xxaznxstylesxx's picture

First Crush... Only Love

mAi f1rSt kRusHh... hMm...

my first crush was in the 4th grade... there was this kid who left our skool to be homeskoold in like da 1st grade... but then when he came back in da 4th grade... idk i just remember thinking this is the cutest guy ever! n i never thought that about a guy be4 so it was rly weird for me, ya but then we became like best friends, but soon... idk i just felt like i rly needed to tell some1 i was gay so then i told my best friend jaeanne... she promised not to tell, but then like when we were in front of some1 1 time she was like can i tell her? n it would be rude if i said no... so i was like ok but u cant tell ne1... but den eventually mostly all of da girls knew... but nun of the guyz knew... finally one time... my other best friend(ex best friend) told the guy at a party... n all of his friends knew by the next skool day n no1 would talk to me... i was so devastated... i mean... i knew that i srsly did lUv him n i cared sssooo much about him, but now i had to face da fact dat we prolly were nevr gon talk again n i still havnt gotten over him... we both just graduated 8th grade... i mean... we were friends for 3 yrs. n some change but we havng talked for about 1 1/2 yrs... i hope dat i get another chance to be his friend tho... idk if dis is tru but my friends say that evr since him my hearts been rly hardend n im not da same person dat i used 2 b, but i dun think so... n if dats tru den good cuz i was hella retarded bak den

gHetToE PnOii livN iN dAh mOsT uNgHetToE pLacE... nEvAdA...

Tjedza's picture

yumjmy [people

my first crush on a guy was back when i was 10- i had a crush on a boy named tyron... he was a bit strange, but hilarious and so cutely blonde- yum, with beautiful green eyes and his laughter was smooth strong pure and full like water, he used to play soccer.. i think i watched nearly every game of his.
tee hee.

my first actual crush on a chick/female was on my french teacher and it all started in my third yr of high school, yeah it was kinda creepy coz she was a bit old- like in her forties, but she had such a sexy back and she wore a lot of see-thru shirts etc... damn i like used to break a sweat in french just for her.. but she started being a bitch to me later so i kinda dropped that crush abouta year ago... tee hee i still got one on me other french teacher... yummu piece she is... blonde, blue eyes, well stacked, and yeeah it must be the french, i braved a fifth yr of french for that woman...and i'd still do it again if i could...yum

out of my mind... back in 5 minutes.
i'm not afraid of death, i just dont wanna be there when it happens.

aManDa's picture

Well my first crush was my fr

Well my first crush was my freshman year in high school. Her name was Molly. She was beautiful but she was totally straight. Well I actually saw her tonight for the first time in like 2 years. We were best friends when i had a crush on her ( you know the typical having a crush on your best friend thing) Anywyas when i saw her tonight she acted like she didnt know me it was so messed up. It showed me that first crushes can die fast... Im over her though have been for a while but tonight made it that much more over. I have a new girl in mind :)

Nerienea's picture

Well, the first one that I noticed...

the first one that I noticed (at the time) was about two years ago (somehow I managed to stay in denial for a year and a half after this). It goes something like this:
I was sitting in a theater, watching a rehearsal of Much Ado About Nothing. I was crewing, sort of (box office) so I got to watch. Anyway, there was this girl, Jill, a year older than me. She was normally a blue jeans and t-shirt person, with brown hair in a ponytail, pretty ordinary looking, not prone to showing off, but in the play (modernized version, too few guys in the cast so they made some of the parts for girls) she was the evil half sister of the prince instead of the evil half brother, and she had this wig on and tight black stuff. Anyway, this woman walks in, and she starts talking to the girl about how much she's grown and all that. Then she says something like "you're hot now". So I look at the woman, and I look at Jill, and I go "Damn she's right," but only in my head. And then I idolized Jill for months, and still didn't get it.

There had been other girls I somewhat idolized, but I'm not sure if they were crushes, really.

screv's picture

i was married at the age of 6

i was married at the age of 6. fuck knows who my crush was, i wasnt aying attention so i got married cos she said so. it never lasted... i think it lasted half of break, but i could be wrong lol

she holds the pen that spells the end

miss-deceptacon's picture

Oh man, don't remind me...

My first crush that I had on a girl was in early 7th grade. Her name was Danielle and I had just met her coming into middle school. We were friends for a while and then I started falling for her. Our first "date" (if you could even call it that) was at some party of her one friend who I didn't even know but I went just because she wanted me to go. We hid under a trenchcoat in the back of her friend's yard and I was kiss-deviriginized. Yep. Good times.

"I'm so sorry if I'm alienating some of you. Your fucking culture alienates me."
{bikini kill} "white boy"

sistinesylph's picture

1st Crush

was when I was four or five. My parents were good friends with these other people, and their daughter was at least thirteen years older than me, but I just thought she was the coolest thing alive.

But then right after that I met one of my brother's schoolmates. She was only like five years older than me, but I had the hugest crush on her. I would dream about saving her and taking care of her, and all these impossible situations. I could never speak when she was around. It took me forever to get over that crush but I think she's beautiful to this day.

screv's picture

YOU. ime kidding she ho


ime kidding

she holds the pen that spells the end

of all the things i have lost, i miss my beer the most, now where did i leav it?

HotPinkFlames's picture

lol...and i didn't realize I was gay...

my first crush was my friend nadine who was also a counselor @ a mountain biking camp i went to...that was like three summers ago. i didn't even /like/ mountain biking, i just went to the camp si I could hang with i love it, so yay for nadine! anyway, she moved to cali...BUT SHE'S COMING BACK FOR A WEEK AND I GET TO SEE HER ON MONDAY! hurray, even though I don't crush on her anymore. ^.^

Duct Tape Fairy's picture

My first like

I wouldn't really say it was a crush, because I didn't know the person, and it was an actress. However, there was this actress who played Eponine in the musical Les Miserables. I thought she was really pretty, and I printed out tons of pictures of her off the web and put them up around my room. It didn't really click that I was attracted to her (I was 11). I guess she was sort of my first crush, or at least my first 'like'.

Nikku's picture

Actually, I just got my first

Actually, I just got my first real crush! ^^ I didn't start noticing guys until recently...Maybe I'm a late bloomer.

chevamartin's picture


first crush.. oh man..
i know i used to have a crush on someone when i was littler but for the life of me i cant remember who it was so im gonna have to say halfway through seventh grade; a girl named olivia. my first ever really intense crush.

simplyme's picture

I suppose my first real crush

I suppose my first real crush was my p.e teacher. She was (and still is!) absolutely gorgeous. To this day I still like her, but I've had many more crushes and experiences since then.

One day we will start to fly and never look back..

supergray's picture

I was in kindergarten. It mig

I was in kindergarten. It might even have started in pre-K. I don't even remember the girl's name, only that she was really tiny. I told people she was my best freind, but I don't think she ever talked to me once. (Because I hung out with the boys and was a mis-behave-er.)

Haha~ Early start for some of us. Its werid though, because all my early crushes were on girls, but now I mainly like guys. Anyone else get the switcheroo?

Sockfairy's picture

I totally got switched up

My first crush was on this boy Cory. He was sooo effing pretty! It was kindergarten and I still know him to this day and he would make a beautiful girl. The only girl I ever crushed on in my early years was Shelly and I was about 6. We were in girl scouts together and I was so smitten with her. I was willing to do whatever she wanted me to do. Sadly she moved to Texas when I was 7.

Other than her all my crushes have been really girly guys, most of which have turned out to actually be gay (I wonder why, lol), up until the middle of middle school when the girls got more girl-ish. Pretty much since about 6th grade I've been crushing on girls a lot without really knowing what was going on until I realized I was in love with my ex-best friend. Too bad she was god awful towards me.

But yeah I only like guys when they're really girly and even then it's not anywhere near as much as with girls. Like Suzy, she's soo cute, smart, funny, just everything! eep! Too bad she's ruler straight though, lol.

aphrodite22's picture

Gosh. My first crush. My fi

Gosh. My first crush. My first crush on a boy was in preschool. His name was Joey and I remember that I always chose him to stand in line behind me. (Each person got to pick who was standing behind them.) Then my first girl crush was probably in kindergarten or so. It may have happened before that but I remember having a crush on my friend, Meredith. But it's hard to say, since I didn't start understanding that they were crushes until a year and a half ago. Then it was my friend Beth who sat behind me in Spanish class.

stewie's picture

my first crush was a girl nam

my first crush was a girl named tonya foster,
blonde hair and really cute. i remember me , her and hiedi
would go under a big table for "silent time" and i would
always take my shirt off and they would poke at my nipples
and belly button then blush and laugh at me.
i remember feeling really anxious and excited , and having a
good time (:"
i never knew what the big deal was really ,i was only 7 at the time.
i was an extremly sexually precocious as a kid-
this of course led to many many other behavorial problems...

Daisy's picture

My first crush was in nursery

My first crush was in nursery school, on this little girl named Esther. I remember that she was diabetic and I liked to watch her do the needle-prick thing... Hmm...

Did they love you or what?

krazykid2791's picture

first REAL crush

i've thought that guys are cute before but i really didn't have a CRUSH on one, as in i noticed everything they did and and always looked at them and had that "sink-y" feeling in my stomach. it was last summer, when i was 13. his name was colin, and he was sooo cute and very openly gay. he was also 17, so in other words, i had no chance. but i eventually told him i was gay in hopes that it would "woo" him. lol. he politely declined my offer of a date, but he did set me up w/ my current boyfriend! so i guess it all worked out.

beaumec18's picture


my first gay crush was on this really cute little boy named danny, we were both in preschool, it was so sweet! (When I think back on it, that is.) I think I met him later at some camp and was like holy shit when we were both at age three he was like hott shitt to me.

First straight one was on this girl named chelsea. i really, really liked her. a lot. she thought I was pathetic.

it seems so out of context/inthat gaudy apartment context

the mouse that roared's picture

Well my first crush was on a

Well my first crush was on a guy back in fourth grade. I would defend him if anyone insulted him and would get all excited whenever he looked at me. I thought he was flawless. I ended up asking him to dance at the last dance in eighth grade graduation (just because he was the closest guy and I remembered how I had a crush on him) and I haven't seen him since.

My first crush on a girl I didn't realize at the time. I was nine or ten and I have this memory of loving the way her hair glowed in the sun that slanted from a window in our church's sanctuary. And thinking she was wonderful and all that. I think I've always been in love with her but I've only realized it until recently.

kassieib's picture

Kassie:)my first crush was a

Kassie:)my first crush was a girl that was on my softball team. She was very pretty she had that all natural look and I would always get excited if she talked to me or practiced with me. At the time I didn't realize I had a crush on her I always just told myself that I admired her and that was all. Yeah right! I definately more than just admired her. It's a shame that all the good girls are straight!

Ebony's picture

My first crush was on my best

My first crush on another girl was on my best friend in Kindergarden, Colette. She was so much fun, and so gorgeous. I was completely in love with her. Of course, I didn't think of it as a crush, since had been taught that girls are supposed to like guys, and vice versa, and didn't know anything else. But now I see how completely obsessed with her I was. I would do anything to be by her, or to be her partner, and couldn't stop thinking about her. Sometimes I still wonder whatever happened to her.

Now thinking on it, I also had a crush on my friend Maria, and I knew her since I was a you could call her my first crush. She's still an object of my attention....^_~

Naimah's picture

My first crush was in 5th gra

My first crush was in 5th grade, I had a crush on my bestfriend, I didn't really know it, but whenever she wasn't there I always thought about her, or over the weekend during school, i would just sit around and think about how much I missed her, and couldn't wait till Monday. I kinda knew, because the Usher song U got It Bad, came out, and it described my symptoms. But I denied it, I didn't really think about it till, my brother came out, and I started to think about my own feelings and stuff.

Splash's picture

tricky question.

I actually had a "normal," intense opposite-sex crush when I was twelve, but it lasted exactly three days. Still not sure what I saw in that guy. :-)

There was a girl I might have crushed on that summer, though. I don't think she was ever all that interested even in being friends with me, but I know I was pretty stuck on her. I thought she was the most amazing singer in the world and really, really wanted her to like me. (A case helped immensely by the face that I was too shy to talk to her. :-) )

So to answer the question, I think she may have been my first deep crush. (Of course, I barely knew what being gay was at the time!) I get confused though, since the way I feel when I like girls is different from the few crushes (grand total of three in my life) I did have on guys.

~~~ the voice of your eyes is deeper than all roses ~ e e cummings ~~~

sexy hott's picture

7th grade

my real first crush on a girl was in 7th grade i had known this girl 4 like a week or two, she had moved here from louisiana and it was b4 katrina hit. when i saw her i was like damn shes cute. so i started talking to also helped that one of my friends was her cousin. so yea in 8th grade i moved we have talked like twice since then and it was horrible. i moved from that school on jan 26 of 2007. and probly a month after i left i started to go out with this really cute girl i met in my new school. we were in jazz band. im a freshman now. and its been so long since ive talked to my first real crush.

she was the girl of my dreams and the love of my nightmares

Neutrina's picture

My first recognizable crush

My first recognizable crush was on a girl in my dance class. I'd switched studios, and she student-taught one of the classes I was in. I thought she was the most wonderful person ever, and got all nervous and stutter-y when she was near me. Actually, that crush lasted like four years...
Funny, I only really got over her when I decided I'd try for friendship.

"She's a mystery
She's too much for me
But I keep coming back for more
She's just the girl I'm looking for"
-The Click Five "Just the Girl"

Rachel_Girl's picture

First Crush

My first crush that I remember was on my friend Adrienne. I remember that I always had this urge to give Adrienne a kiss but I knew I shouldn't. Personally I didn't think anything of the crush because Adrienne was always insisting that she was male so in my mind I had a crush on a guy but I knew techinically he was a girl and I would get in trouble if people found out about my crush. (Yay! openly homophobic elementary school!)

The crush lasted from when I was about seven till when I was about 9, so third through fifth grade.

Adrienne and I go to different schools now, so we never see each other even though we live literally a block away from each other.
Love Happens

pomegranate's picture

I was about 3

sitting next to my best friend (a guy). We had so much fun together, and my understanding of marriage was you get to live with your best friend for the rest of your life, and if you were good and prayed a lot God would give you cute little babies (I envisioned them as the dolls I had, but real and therefore more fun) to take care of. So of course I asked him to marry me, and because he pretty much did everything I said, he shrugged his little boy soldiers and said okay. It was all set, and I felt so happy sitting there smiling in my car seat.
This boy and I are still friends today, and we often laugh remembering this.

cynical1inthecorner's picture

My first crush started the

My first crush started the year before seventh grade. I was on a week-long canoing trip with my girl scout troop, and one of my leader's older daughters came with us. The crush was slow in growing but by the end of the week I was madly obsessed with her, and it lasted for several years.

I didn't realize it was a crush until I finally came out to myself the spring of my freshman year, just a few months before she came out to all of us.

Sometimes I still catch myself obsessing over her and wishing she wasn't four years older than me / didn't have a serious girl-friend / wasn't completely uninterested in me. Mostly though, we're still just good friends. :]

fox333's picture

my first gay crush was a few

my first gay crush was a few years ago on a chick that looked like a guy. I thought she was adorable though. i have the weirdest taste.

'Oh Brave New World!'
- Brave New World
I think...

yep_im_a_stalker's picture

The first that I can recall

The first that I can recall happened when I was like...
....6 maybe 7 years old.
Somehow, our parents knew each other and we were over at their house one day. She and I were watching a movie on the same reclining chair and when she got up to do something, i sneakily slipped my arm so that it was nonchalantly placed in the exact position where her waist would be.
She sat down and we stayed like that for the whole movie :)

I don't think I ever saw her again, and I don't remember anything about her other than that (and she was maybe of Asian descent?).
But I thought it was like so pimptastic of me :)

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darla07's picture

my first crush was actually

My first crush was actually on a boy.I was 11 and he was 10,it was so embarrssing.All the college girls that worked at our daycare were making jokes about how it didn't look like I was gonna marry my bestfriend Andrew after all.
The first crush I had on a girl was when I was 15,the girl was new to our school.We had Home Economics together.When we first met the first thing she said to me was "Are you bi?" Great way to break the ice don't you think?

When she lowers her eyes she seems to hold all the beauty in the world between her eyelids; when she raises them I see only myself in her gaze.
- Unknown

Vietchickie's picture

haha my first real crush

My first crush was this dude named tyler ^-^ haha well i forgot how we met but. I remember it was 6th grade i saw him gazing out the school bus window. we only had 1 class together at that point, orchestra.
He always stared at me so i thought he liked me . i was wrong.
A dance was coming up and he asked me if i was goin, i said no u know i thought he was asking me to go with him. After that he asked me if my friend jazzie was going. i put the pieces together and knew he wasn't asking me . he wanted to ask jazzie :(
He was my first crush, my first heart break, and my first close guy friend :)

Vietchickie's picture

haha my first real crush

My first crush was this dude named tyler ^-^ haha well i forgot how we met but. I remember it was 6th grade i saw him gazing out the school bus window. we only had 1 class together at that point, orchestra.
He always stared at me so i thought he liked me . i was wrong.
A dance was coming up and he asked me if i was goin, i said no u know i thought he was asking me to go with him. After that he asked me if my friend jazzie was going. i put the pieces together and knew he wasn't asking me . he wanted to ask jazzie :(
He was my first crush, my first heart break, and my first close guy friend :)

perple's picture

Well, there were girls that

Well, there were girls that I hung out with and most likely liked, but I was never obsessed with anyone. I guess that's just not my style. Oh well. In the crush range, maybe S in 1st grade, or K in 2nd. But I think I might be going through my first "proper one" (to borrow the phrase y-gurl) right now, with a friend.

Zephyr's picture

I love that someone revived this thread.

I don't really remember my first like... elementary school crush. But I do remember that in the sixth grade I feel for my best friend. She came out as bi along with another friend of ours, and we kind of talked about who we thought was cute (I knew she had a crush on the other girl) and it was just kind of like our own little club. My best friend is straight, the other girl (I'm convinced is in love with one of our friends--and a lesbian. xD) and then there's me. I just identify as gay. That was almost seven years ago, and we're all still friends.
Did you meet your fortune teller?
Do it up, it's always stellar

cupio17's picture

my first crush . . .

My first crush was my next door neighbor. He was out before I was, and he was really hot! I mean, muscles dripping sweat HOT! I flirted all year to get his attention. When he went out side so did i, just so he could see me looking! I know it sounds weird and all but I was young and foolish!
'The Greatest thing You'll Ever Learn is Just to Love and Be Loved in Return'
-'Moulin Rouge'

Super Duck's picture

Um, this sounds SUPER lame,

Um, this sounds SUPER lame, and trust me, it is. XD I've always been just totally stupid.

In sixth grade, I just got to middle school. There was a cheerleader girl in seventh grade, and I thought she was super cute. So... I never talked to her. XD In fact, the first time I ever talked to her was last year, and that was way after I got over her. She was weird. .__.