A Clinical Depression

poetry nymph's picture

~A Clinical Depression~

If I go to sleep tonight.
And do not wake upon the day.
My body cold in sheets of white.
Do not let your mind portray,
me; in such an untimely way.

Once chained in absence.
Fear had gone.
Drank my own blood absinthe.
Left me insane but strong.

Taking life with my own hands.
Born of darkness and evil intent.
At times it is difficult to understand.
What drives us to defend.

But know this child.
If I go to sleep this lovely lonely night.
And wake not upon the day.
You see this body cold in sheets of white.
Do not let your mind portray,
me; in such a ghastly way.

The irony of my disease.
Still terminal in all its possibilities.
I want more to take my own life.
Than to let it kill me slowly inside.

Having chained myself to tools of pain.
The use of which I know only.
I have lost what there is to gain.
Feeling this life ebbing slowly.

I justify the things I do.
The pain that is caused.
Ultimately afraid to see myself in you.
Although we all carry with us some of those fatal flaws.

And if I go to sleep tonight.
And I do not wake upon the day.
Try not to let your mind portray,
me; your mother, in such a sad way.

There are things that break so easily.
Never chain yourself, let yourself become unhappy.
Your heart, soul should come first.
That is why when you wake.
Do not look upon this face.
Instead I want you to turn away.
Shed your tears another day.

Let the blood run warm still in your veins.
Keep with you always...
The smiles we shared.
Tears we cared for.
Days we remembered fondly.
This too shall pass, make you stronger than the last.

With my last breath the words I’ll say.
I love you daughter, happy birthday.

i suppose this is quite disturbing and dispite the wording, it is actually about me and my inner child, i am not an actual mother. although recently almost was one.
this poem is...strong for me. yes hmmmm. very strong.
poetry tiff

Comments

niks121997's picture

....

I don't know what to say. Wow. This poem affected me. There, that's what I wanted to say.

"Life's under no obligation to give us what we expect. We take what we get and are thankful that it is no worse than it is."

"All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream."

Tjedza's picture

i hardly say yes but... you gotta know.

yes.

was it fabulous?
was it creative?
was it touching?
c'etait frappant?

yes.

"You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred"

Lit From Inside's picture

I suppose...

This poem was touching and beautiful (hardly words that can describe the feelings that it evoked in me) and I can't wait for you to post another one. Thanks for being poetic.

poetry nymph's picture

thank you...

thank you all so much i love that you loved my poem. it was very emotional to write, even though as i have written before, somewhere, my emotions no longer are out on my sleeves, they seem to lie biding their time inside me. this is how i put them out there i suppose...
again i say thank you, it always feels good to have ones work be appreciated...
poetry tiff

" Such sights as youthful poets dream
On summer eve by haunted stream."
-John Milton
"To see a World in a Grain of Sand
And a Heaven in a Wild Flower,
Hold Infinity in the palm of your hand
And Eternity in an hour."
-William Blake

greta's picture

depression is scary but...

ah, i want your poetry power!! this poem was v. rich. it makes mine look even more sad in my eyes. actually, i put some of my "poems" in this school creative writting thing but that was because the girl making it was desperate for material.lol. write! more! please!