i like her-more then i admit.

stewie's picture

okay.. i liked his girl at my work for soo long.
all of last year i was mad crushing on her.
she was seeing someone and it drove me nuts!
i was soo angry and pissed off at her for choosing him over me.
but i really did'nt give her any hints to me liking her
except for a few hot looks and just by my body language towards her.
this happens ALL the time. i always get crushes on girls
and i don't really know as to why. i try to make myself
hate them and get over them , but i winde up spending all of my time
thinking about them when i am alone.
this really really really bothers me, i don't know why but it does.
i still kinda like her.actually i would'nt mind going out with her,
but everytime i try to talk to her i never know what to say.
i get nervous , anxious and really shy. it feels good when she is
around and i am dying inside to just talk to her.
i am good at giving her "looks" and i always make her blush.
but when it comes down to actual communication verbally ,
i just feel like we have nothing in common.
she makes me sooooo hot , alot of girls do now adays.
i seriouslly do not know why. i don't even like girls.
i seriouslly don't , i am just curious of where theses feelings
come from and originated from.
sometimes i can feel the heat between us and i feel like i just want to
grab her and kiss her... i am frightened of her yet drawn to her.
when i think about being with her sexually , i have to stop myself
from going too far because even just thinking that overwhelms me.
i hate when this happens... this always happens , i realy like a girl
and i winde up freaking out over it. this sucks.
will i ever get over my fear of girls? this dosen't make any sense.
i have had sex before with girls.alot of sex. but it was just something
i did for fun and i never had these types of feelings before.
it seems more emotionaly overwhelming now that i am older.
this time around it just feels alot more intense and involving for some odd reason...
i really like her..like ..liked.. i don't even know. or i don't want to
admit it. god i am never gonna get a girl...
and if i do get a guy all i do is complain that i never get girls.
i should'nt even care. i wonder how gay guys can have absolutly no feelings
for girls. it would be quite a relief to never deal with woman ever again!!!
with guys i act like i am such a freaking prince of some shit , like i am all
that and more.and i have no problems meeting guys.
but with chicks , it's a whole new ball game. i feel like such a dork.
i play like i am such a bad ass , but i really ain't.
i just want some lovin! HELP!!!!
THERE ARE PEOPLE THAT WILL ACCEPT ME JUST AS I AM... i hope i find her soon...