I did something today and my stomach is still in knots. I adore my English teacher so much. He's so nice, he teaches very well, and he's just a really neat guy. For a while now I've been wondering if he's gay. I just get this feeling that he might be. My gaydar is totally out of whack, though, so I'm probably wrong. I asked my global teacher if she thought he might be (because she knows him pretty well), and she said she didn't know. So I talked my bio teacher (who is, like, the coolest guy EVER!) because this is really bugging me and I thought it would probably be inappropriate to ask a teacher about their sexual orientation. Because, you know, Mr. A is my teacher and teachers and students usually don't ask each other personal things. Mr. B, my bio teacher, told me that if he was asked that question he would be completely comfortable answering and he didn't think it was inappropriate to ask. He gave me some advice on how to ask Mr. A in a way that wouldn't offend him. So I wrote Mr. A a letter, explaining my reason for asking him and saying that I wasn't trying to pry, offend him, or make him uncomfortable. I had my best friend read it and she went in the office with me to put it in Mr. A's mailbox. Now I have to wait until Monday to see if I get a reply. I'm not really expecting one, because I don't know what he thinks about a student asking a teacher that. I told him that I was wondering if he's gay because I guess I'm trying to find a gay adult that I could talk to if I need to, about issues regarding being a gay teen in high school. Which is true, and he's one of my favorite teachers. And it would just be really cool if he was gay, because I like gay guys. They're cool...woot! And if he's not, which he probably isn't, I'll feel like a total idiot because I told him that I'm a lesbian. Yeah... Urgh. I really hope that I don't offend him, and I really don't want him to get mad or anything. There's no undoing what's been done, though. It's done and over with. He's most likely read it by now, unless he's not getting his mail until Monday. Oh my goodness. This weekend is going to be so long. I'd really like to hear some feedback -- whether you think what I did was inappropriate or bad or anything.
My best friend looked so good yesterday. She was wearing this black shirt and her favorite pair of jeans. I don't know why, I just think she just looked really really good. Ahh, I love her so much. Not in a girlfriend way, it's in that 'if anything ever happened to her I'd die' way.