man, i am just getting so fed up with things. i have been pretty unhappy lately, and its not fun. i just turned 14 but feel like i have so much responsiblity. everyone depends on me for a lot fo stuff, and they think i'm like in college or something. im always worrying about what i forgot to do, or what i have to do next. i know i should just drop some activities, but everything is important to me and i dont think people would understand if I just didnt do stuff. for example, i decided not to do track or basketball, and everyone got so pissed at me. and i have felt like shit for the past like couple of months, and it was mostly emotional shitty, but now its physical too. i have been holding all these feeling in because i realized that no one really gives a shit, and they can't help anyway, but its just gotten too much. so if anyone is readin this, its just me complaining so u could just stop now. and also, my bday was just recently, but i dint really have time to plan anything, so i just hung out after a bunch of my friends after my activites. it was fun, but i felt like i was squeezing in time for my bday. and now it doesnt even feel like i had it. and whats worse, i met this girl and at the first sight of her i feel woozy. and i saw her again today, and it was so paiful because im finally having some really intense feelings for someone. but that whole situation is just messed up and a completely different story. ahhhhh, well i feel a lil better having let some of this out. thats why this site is so great. and i know i didnt really even say anything here, but it was kinda nice to just vent slightly. and if anyone made it to the end, sorry for the somewhat bad language and the somewhat cynical mood.