Age difference

Dignity's picture

I'm 14 turning 15 at the end of June, and he's 19 turning 20 next January.
I mean he's in college and I'm in highschool. Is this too large a gap?

Thx.

Daemion's picture

i don't think the age differe

i don't think the age difference should matter. if you two really care for each other then i think its fine.

Jazzer's picture

Ahh, yes...

(By the way, I'm assuming that you're talking about someone you're dating already or someone whom you want to date. If you're talking about having only sex with this guy--and no relationship--, well, that's an entirely different can of worms).

In my experienced opinion, I've come to the conclusion that age makes a difference only when the younger one is too young. What is too young? Frankly, I think you're too young to be with a 19-year-old.

The five years isn't that much of a problem (say, if the two people were 35 and 40), but I mean this guy is old enough to drive, vote, buy cigs, and join the military. You, on the other hand, cannot. You can't even go to a rated-R movie without your Mom--the cinemas won't let you!

The fact is that right now, you're developmentally in very different stages of your lives and were I you, I'd find boys my own age to play with.

Michael

Some people's kids...I tell ya!

QuakerOats's picture

Well, it really depends on th

Well, it really depends on the people. Ask somebody who knows you both, if you can. Check if it's legal, however. And consider: what kind of a relationship do you have? Is one person leading? Are you having sex (in that case, YOU ARE TOO YOUNG)? Does this mean that he is really immature? If so, is he a good person for a young person to be dating? As the older one, he should also be concerned! Talk about this. How much do you trust him and why? Are you infatuated?

"If gay and lesbian people are given civil rights, then everyone will want them!"

Scot's picture

My dad is twenty-three years

My dad is twenty-three years older than my mom. He is older than my moms parents. ^_^

-------------------------
No sticks.
No stones.
Don't break my bones.
'Cause words are enough to hurt me.

jeff's picture

Yeah...

There is WAY too much emotional development at that age to draw any conclusions based on similar age differences between adults.

It is also probably illegal as most state "Romeo and Juliet" laws only have a 3-4 year age window, as I recall. So, you can be 15 and 18, but not a wider range.

Again, to me, the issue is that this is not about the younger person being "mature enough," as is usually brought up. Let's assume the younger person is mature. What is the perspective of the college student who wants to date someone much younger than themselves? Are they immature, following this logic?

Darkest Dream's picture

Exactly the age

Exactly the age my friend Audrey begun to be with her boyfriend Eric who had 19. Now he's got 20 and her 15 and they have been together for almost 2 years... It's not too much, if he respects you well.

--------
A Open Heart that never Lies

w8tin4life's picture

beside the legal aspect of it

beside the legal aspect of it, if you like him go for it. i think im totally in love with someone who is younger than i am. not that big of a diffrence but im still almost out of high school and shes just getting into it. so do what you feel is right. its a judjement call if oyu ask me.

Who would give a law to lovers? Love is unto itself a higher law. ~Boethius, The Consolation of Philosophy, A.D. 524

chrys fluff gondros's picture

obviously the age difference

obviously the age difference can not matter in an emotional sense, but the legal aspect is something you may want to consider, but i shouldn't lecture, i lost my 'cherry' at 11, and to a guy at 14 :D

sportytatu's picture

for me no....since im kinda i

for me no....since im kinda in the same situation.

people say love is blind, then isnt it blind for gender as well?

id walk through hell in a gasoline suite to keep playing softball.