Yeah so, my girlfriend- a few of you might know her... and I got drunk after the SATs on Saturday, and we went out for icecream (driving drunk- tut tut). Anyway, we went to this fastfood joint, and as we were leaving, I was getting in the car head first and my girl plopped icecream on my back and licked it off lavishly.... Oops! Coz, she started gigling and said that "that white family saw me do that." So I looked up and tried to act like nothing was happening, but it wasn't just some random family - it was the family of the most christian, know-it-all, perfect, sanctimonius, I've-never-committed-a-sin-in-my-life girl in our yeargroup and she just smiled at us and walked away with her eight brothers and sisters.
Anyway, we convinced ourselves that she didn't see anything.... But she did. And she came back to school on Monday and told the entire yeargroup how disgusted she was, and oh my god, her senses had been completely affronted, and she was so "traumatised" was the word she used as she was flapping her hands about in disgust. So now, whether we like it or not - we're out.
And it's a bitch, coz that girl and all her friends are Prefects so they can tell our headmistress and we can get into a whole bag of shit. Trust me, this country - and in particular our Anglican school, are very conservative and severely homophobic.... And if they tell our parents, we'll never see each other again. Plus, I'll be dead. We'd also be in shit with the law - coz any sort of kiss between a guy and a girl in public is illegal here, (and I should know as I almost got arrested for "Public Indecent" - ignorant nigga, by a police officer for hugging my boyfriend in public but that was three years ago when I was still in denial and straight). And being gay anywhere is a crime in this country.... so... we're in a lot of trouble if this gets out.
It's so not fair.
I hate the fact that all those girls I thought were my "friends" are gossiping about me and calling me a fag. None of them has the guts to ask me to my face - hypocrits. They just smile and then bitch when I leave. They think I'm so dirty, and immoral - man, can they toss that word around! I'm not immoral at all! I'm just different. I don't feel like what I'm doing is "immoral." Plus, I think Jesus loves me...yes I know...for the Bible tells me so...
I'm just so mad that that blonde bitch couldn't keep her mouth shut (although, I'm more mad at myself and my girl for doing things in public). Actually, it's not that chick's fault for reacting the way she did. She lives in a bubble and can't even understand people having a baby out of wedlock, or sleeping with someone you're not married to. Poor girl. It's not her fault.
Shit... but I wish she hadn't kicked us out the closet. Wish, we'd gotten the chance to tell the people who matter to us, in our own time, in our own way. Now, I've got to quickly tell all my friends (before they get angry at me for not trusting them). The news of "the lesbians" is spreading like fire in our school and the other private schools in our city. See, it's an EXTREMELY small and lifeless community.
Fuck, I don't know what to do. All I know is that my only joy is my girlfriend. She is my pillar and my foundation... She is all I care about now. And it's so weird how this being kicked out the closet has made me realise more poignantly than ever before, that she is all I desire and she is what I need. As long as she's happy, I can live through anything.
Ah gross- Too sentimental. End.
In other news - the government is going mad. What's new?
Hum hum... I love her so much!!!!!
I hate school though. They're gonna tie me to the fence and throw stones at me- figuratively speaking of course.