drug me

Tjedza's picture

there was a point when my life was all about sex, maryjane, alcohol, and music.

it was an extremely potent combination but it gave me the fix i needed- that blurry, hazy, i-can-barely-stand feeling really gave me what i thought i wanted.

i always figured i needed a break from reality and these 4 elements took me 'there' to that special place-
the land of hakuna matata ( no worries)
i was trippin on orgasm after orgasm, pleasure after pleasure- killing myself slowly...softly ( of course)

sooo me..bing the little aristotle wannabe i am- came up with the not so well formed theory no, philosophy that life was all about pleasure- more specifically physical /sexual pleasure.
therefore for me love=sex=life (and a little vodka shot on the side..hmm yum)
and so i figured that if ur not having any good sex then its not love then its not LIFE.

but then i met her and i found the most passionate form of life/love ( it might sound corny, shit it actually does but fuck it its tthe way i feel)
i havent had sex with her.. no, i havent even kissed my girlfriend in 2 weeks and not once did my heart stop beating in time with her every laugh,blink,breath.
i cant see anyone outside of her nor do i feel the impulse ( i used to feel about a yr ago)to want to have sex with anyone else coz fukc it, it just wouldnt be sex-
it'd be a weak act of shallow selfish stupidity -

i just realised that i dont need sex to love.
i dont need alcohol to live-
i dont need drugs....
...

Comments

xxxangelxxx's picture

Well done!

Hi, I'm really glad that you've now found the REAL you and that you now know exactly what you want out of life. Well done for turning things around, I know it isn't an easy thing to do, you realised there was a problem and you dealt with it, I hope you're really proud of yourself girl!

Just don't slip back to your old ways and keep going forwards! I hope things work out for you and your girlfriend too. Take care.

As soon as forever is through, I'll be over you.