falling for a friend...no!

FlameFish08's picture

so recently i had some unbearably intense feelings for this girl. i knew nothing could come of it, so i tried to let it go as best i could and just hoped i would go for someone else. well i have mostly let it go, and have developed feelings for someoen else. the problem is, this someone else is a good friend. first off, she doesn't even know i'm gay, and she is definitely straight. second, she is gonna be a senior in high school and i will just be a freshman. and i guess that doesnt really matter,but if something were to happen between us we'd have to break it off when she went to college. but i dont even want feelings for her in the first place! we've been friends for a while now and i just want it to stay that way. i love the way our friendship is and i dont want anything to ruin it. i thought i could stop some of these feelings, but yesterday she stopped by my house and that day she filled my thoughts.But i dont want her to! i guess im just really frustrated because everyone i fall for is either too old, taken, or i dont want to have feelings for them. oh, and most of them are straight. but sometimes i just cant help thinking about my friend in that kind of way. shes got a great personality, and shes not so bad to look at. shes small with long blond hair and blue eyes. like really vivid blue eyes too. ugh! stop thinking this way! ok, im glad ive gotten some of those feelings out, but i just want to stop thinking about her like this. some of you have probably been in a situauation similar to this, what did you do? does anyone have any good tips for cooling down over someone?

Comments

i like girlz's picture

I've been in a few situations

I've been in a few situations like that and almost every time they were with a good friend who was straight but i would occasionally get into a situation with a girl that was into me. but every time i just sat myself down and really thought about everything and i eventually realized that i would find someone else that i could have and wanted to have. i would force myself to look at other girls and think of it being possible to have a relationship with them instead. i don't know. it always worked for me. i know that i tried some other things too but unfortunately, being that it's summer, my memory's pretty much shot. sry if none of this helped.
Erin
If i had to, I would move heaven and earth to be with you...

armadillo's picture

not to get your hopes up, but...

Have you ever asked her what her orientation is or do you just assume she's straight because she "looks" straight. Have you ever asked her about it? YOu don't have to say you have feeling for her, just a simple question. You could even come out to her, but not about your feelings, unless you really want to share that with her too.
Life is full of questions and answers. OLd friends, new friends. Crushes and true love. You know that your just starting out, so if you want to, give things a shot, you never really know until you try. If things don't work out, then you can try to get over it.

FlameFish08's picture

straight

yeah, she is definitely straight. she is somewhat homophobic as well, but we talked that through and her position is now "pro gay people" and "anti gay sexuality". whatever that means. so yes, i know shes straight, and she tells me about every situation she gets into with her the most recent guy.

greta's picture

i was really into one of my best friends

early this yr. i was falling for one of my friends eventhough i knew nothing could come of it. it got to the point that i couldn't sleep. so i thought it all threw and i realized that some of our interests were just too different . and i knew it was a short lived infatuation thing. so i just waited it out and now i like just being friends. but it doesn't sound like you dislike things about her so i dunno if this is any help. sorry and good luck.

chevamartin's picture

i can absolutely relate.. i t

i can absolutely relate.. i think you know why :)