SCREWED not in the good way

w8tin4life's picture

alright, there is this girl. i love talking to here. i never feel like ending a note to her. i swear all i want to do is talk to her. i check to see if she's written me anything every five minutes. i talk to her and everything else seems to disappear. i miss hours at a time just writing to her. everything gets hazy and all i can think of is her laughing and smiling. but it's nonsense. i can never be with her. she's younger than i am. she lives somewhere else. i dont know if what im feeling is just something for a freind or something amazing, something much more than that. i think of her when i write my music. corale upon coral (it's a piece of music someone can write) music that i think will define her put her into a shape and essence that i can grasp but its like their is always something missing. a part of her i cant define with notes or tunes or any kind of score. she's not defined by a trumpet or a violin or a piano. and every one reading, thinks im a dork. what i mean to say is that. oh i dont know what the piont was supose to be.the ground fact is i dont know what it is. i dont know why i think about it so much. are conversation and are messages and are talking. i dont know what it is and i dont know how to deal with it and... ughhhh frustration. i guess im screwed.

Comments

Keiran's picture

I know what you mean... I kno

I know what you mean... I know. And let me tell you, it probably is love, or something like it. And it kind of sucks. But you move on. You have to.

"Isn't destructive war kind of redundant? Until I see a constructive war, or even a giggly war, I have to think so."
Han Solo

BrunetteBeauty1989's picture

Do you know her through the internet?

Those are the worst, I've met such good friends over the internet but it's bad when you take it to the next level with someone. It turns into a fantasy life that you create with one another, and you feel some sort of power between the two of you.

Cathy

Duct Tape Fairy's picture

writing music

Good luck with this. It's hard feeling that way. I just wanted to say that it is so amazing that you can write music. It has always been a dream of mine to be a composer, but everything I write sounds pathetic. Have you ever had your music performed? Anyway, good luck with the gal, and keep on composing.

Daisy's picture

Sounds to me like you've got

Sounds to me like you've got a pretty major crush on her... Have you told her how you feel?

"You so easily remember the times I was Eurydice, when the ward's locked door slid closed between us. Do not forget I have also been Orpheus, on my knees in the boat, asking all the devils for your face in the trees."

w8tin4life's picture

no.. ther is no way she feels

no.. ther is no way she feels that about me. ahhhhh

Who would give a law to lovers? Love is unto itself a higher law. ~Boethius, The Consolation of Philosophy, A.D. 524