Times and Hours

Fairylover2008's picture

I went back to Ryan's for the first time last night
to work. My first time since my vaction. I was there
till 10:00p.m. I needed to talk to someone after work
but I fear I got out to late and missed him. I have
got to get a lot of things straight before I have to
hurt someone. I don't like being mean and know is
no different, but I am trying to change who I am
and that is more than I can say for some people. I guess
I want to figure out who I am without people pulling
me in different directions. I've pretty much said
I have to stop cutting but that seems to have came
back into my life and I know I have to stop.
I have self esteem and that and self movation are
about all I need right know with some confidence and
a smile and I have all I need rather I know it or not
I have what I need to make my choices know I
just have to know what they are and if I had a road
map I'd pass it on to the next person.
At the moment it seems that I have been a terrible
person and I don't wish to change at the moment
the hate I feel for myself and just about everyone
around me is something that I need to get me
thought each day on my feet and till I can make peace
with myself and everyone around me I just can't be
anything more than a evil, selfish bitch as one of
the guys at work called me and I know I can be
and its nothing that I resent he is just telling
it like it is and at this moment that is it. I am a
evil selfish self centered bitch. I am only looking
out for myself right know and Jess.