do you ever have those times in your life when you just don't know what you're feeling? like there are so many things going on in your life, yet nothing actually going on at the time? like you could be doing any of the various things you have to do, but you're not? thats where i find myself right now. sitting in this room with no light on, switching between each of the sounds fall out boy, sublime, and various other artists, all of whom im pretty sure are male. basically, i just don't know what to feel right now. i cant label my mood. i think that i just have so many emotions right now there are just too many to process, which leaves me in a kind of numb state of being. i guess the swirling of anger, fatigue, dissappointment, guilt and pressure just randomly hit me. the main topic on my mind at the moment is the fact that im sick of being lonely. i really want to meet some gay people in my town, i feel so isolated sometimes. and then theres the fact that i have put way too many things off in my life. i just cant seem to find any motivation sometimes. even in sports, and people know me for playing sports. this post was more of a release for me to try to process myself right now. i usually just keep everything inside me, im one of those people that does that often. i dont usually outlet my feelings that often. ah, well this was a somewhat helpful release.